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18/10/2017 A recent study showed that both developing and developed countries prosper because of the economic growth. People from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. v.1

18/10/2017 A recent study showed that both developing and developed countries prosper because of the economic growth. People from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. v. 1
In the current days, as a matter of the fact that many prefer to keep studying and living with their relatives, conversely of those ones who have proceed academic studies in a different place. In this essay will be discussed the benefits and drawbacks of both situations, thereby in the first place will argue of carrying out by the convenience of stay at home with their family, following by explaining the key aspects of study in another place. It is believed that there are as many positive sides as negative ones, when it is concerning to be convenient living in the parents’ house in meanwhile one is studying at university. This means that the advantages passed through the balance of the equally important, of finances and the student’s time management. On the other hand, the disadvantage is related to the lack of independency those youths cannot experience it as well as the individual’s growth is far away from distant of those who deal with all the responsibilities in their daily routines. For example, in Portugal, several of the studies from scholars are revealed that an overwhelming 79% of students believed that it it is important to study in the same or nearest city due to the fact that conviction represents saving in transports, food and house expenses, and yet they just have to pay the university degree. In the light of the advantage along with disadvantage of those ones who decided in carrying out their studies in a distinct city, it will provide a real challenge on to optimise the process of upgrading. This means that the positive side of this event is based on the courage to quit of used to hearing and for the purpose of following their dreams. Those young adults face the independent and all the new responsibilities surrounding it. Whilst, the negative ones present an industrious number of adaptation to the new lifestyle, namely the university and city’s culture, and creating a new networking connection. For instance, according to some Psychology Magazines which introduce a higher percentage of citizens who left home at the age of 18 become earliest independent as a result identified their professional and personal life goals aligned rather than those who doing so after the age of 27. To sum up, as has been noted both scenarios, living in the relatives’ house and studying in a different city have benefits and drawbacks, the best for each individual is analysis them ambitions in conforming with the investment, not only monetary but also motivation and focusing in a clear objective, those must be calculated. Obviously, it is thought that living in another place brings more and new experience, it represents the growth, whereas remain in the same city provides an efficient managing time and saving money.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days, as a matter of the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
studying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their relatives,
conversely
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
Use past participle here: "proceeded".
proceed
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place. In this essay will
be discussed
the benefits and drawbacks of both situations, thereby in the
first
place will argue of carrying out by the convenience of stay at home with their family, following by explaining the key aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in another place.

It
is believed
that there are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, when it is concerning to be convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the parents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in meanwhile one is studying at university. This means that the advantages passed through the balance of the
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, of finances and the student’s time management.
On the other hand
, the disadvantage
is related
to the lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
independency
those youths cannot experience it
as well
as the individual’s growth is far away from distant of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
deal with all the responsibilities in their daily routines.
For example
, in Portugal, several of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
from scholars
are revealed
that an overwhelming 79% of students believed that
It seems you either mean "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the same or nearest city due to the fact that conviction represents saving in transports, food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
expenses, and
yet
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the university degree.

In the light of the advantage along with disadvantage of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decided in carrying out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in a distinct city, it will provide a real challenge on to
Possible spelling mistake. 'optimise' is British English.
optimise
the process of upgrading. This means that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is based
on the courage to quit of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to hearing and for the purpose of following their dreams. Those young adults face the independent and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
responsibilities surrounding it. Whilst, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
present an industrious number of adaptation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lifestyle,
namely
the university and city’s culture, and creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
networking connection.
For instance
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Psychology Magazines which introduce a higher percentage of citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
home at the age of 18 become
A determiner is probably missing here: "the earliest".
earliest
independent
as a result
identified their professional and personal life goals aligned
rather
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after the age of 27.

To sum up, as has
been noted
both scenarios,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the relatives’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and studying in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city have benefits and drawbacks, the best for each individual is analysis them ambitions in conforming with the investment, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
monetary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
motivation and focusing in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
objective, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be calculated
.
Obviously
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in another place brings more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience, it represents the growth, whereas remain in the same city provides an efficient managing time and saving money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 18/10/2017 A recent study showed that both developing and developed countries prosper because of the economic growth. People from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
463 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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