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1681 do you think that the possibility of working from home via the internet will lead to many people going back to the countryside? v.1

1681 do you think that the possibility of working from home via the internet will lead to many people going back to the countryside? v. 1
It is considered by many that a lot of youngsters are in possession of a mobile phone. In my point of view, I believe that the disadvantages overweigh the advantages of this issue, because of the fact that it distract the children from their development. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss the positive and negative impacts of this issue. The main advantage is that they are able to stay connected with their parents. The reason for this is that with a smart phone it is possible to send messages and texts in any circumstances. For instance, informing the parents when arriving a bit later from school is not a problem anymore. This way, the mum or dad won't have that feeling of concern. So that's why it is more significant for the children to have a mobile phone. The main disadvantage is that it is disturbing them from their education. This is because with a smart phone they are able to visit social media sites. For example, a lot of the students are spending most of their time on those sites, rather than focussing themselves on their study. In other words, it makes it difficult to achieve a good rate in their subjects. That's why it can be negative to be in ownership of a mobile. To conclude, many teenagers are holding a smart phone. However, this can be positive for their parents to be in touch with them. Although it can have a negative impacts on their educational life. In my opinion, I believe that it van be disadvantageous, because it distract the children from studying, which results a lower rate in their achieved numbers.
It
is considered
by
many
that
a lot of
youngsters are in possession of a mobile
phone
. In my point of view, I believe that the disadvantages
overweigh
the advantages of this issue,
because of the fact that
it distract the children from their development. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss the
positive
and
negative
impacts of this issue.

The main advantage is that they are able to stay connected with their parents.
The reason for this is
that with a smart
phone
it is possible to
send
messages and texts in any circumstances.
For instance
, informing the parents when arriving a bit later from school is not a problem anymore. This way, the mum or dad won't have that feeling of concern.
So
that's why it is more significant for the children to have a mobile phone.

The main disadvantage is that it is disturbing them from their education. This is
because
with a smart
phone
they are able to visit social media sites.
For example
,
a lot of
the students are spending most of their time on those sites,
rather
than focussing themselves on their study.
In other words
, it
makes
it difficult to achieve a
good
rate in their subjects. That's why it can be
negative
to be in ownership of a mobile.

To conclude
,
many
teenagers
are holding a smart
phone
.
However
, this can be
positive
for their parents to be in touch with them.
Although
it can have a
negative
impacts on their educational life. In my opinion, I believe that it van be disadvantageous,
because
it
distract
the children from studying, which results a lower rate in their achieved numbers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1681 do you think that the possibility of working from home via the internet will lead to many people going back to the countryside? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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