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1832 do you think that the possibility of working from home via the internet will lead to many people going back to the countryside? v.1

1832 do you think that the possibility of working from home via the internet will lead to many people going back to the countryside? v. 1
In this modern world, due to advancements in internet technology has made everything available online with just a single click. So it has become easy for everyone to gain knowledge about any topic. According to me, it is a positive sign because masses can search for data at any time and it improves their efficiency of work. To begin with, people can find information on the internet at any interval of time, and most importantly from any place with fewer efforts. Previously, when the internet was not available then people had to go through the number of books and magazines to find the relevant about the topic which requires a lot of effort and time. For instance, when tourists visit a new country, they have little to no information about that place. Therefore, before visiting the nation, they search the websites through the internet to know about the region. Consequently, they not only visit all the important places there but also make their trip more enjoyable. Hence, it is a boon for the people and makes life easier. Moreover, people can learn with the help of material available on the internet. It improves their ability to do the work and takes lesser time to complete it. For example, when the students make projects on a certain subject in schools, they usually search on the internet to know more regarding the subject so that they can gain in-depth knowledge of it and do not face any problem while making it. Further, it increases their accuracy in making the project. Thus, it is apparent that the internet boosts the capability of doing work and it is a good thing for the people. To summarize, people can access details on any matter whenever they needed and it improves the quality of work. In my opinion, the internet is a boon for the people and it makes the life of the people easier by easily providing the particulars.
In this modern world, due to advancements in internet technology has made everything available online with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a single click.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it has become easy for everyone to gain knowledge about any topic.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
masses can search for data at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their efficiency of work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find information on the internet at any interval of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and most
importantly
from any place with fewer efforts. Previously, when the internet was not available then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to go through the number of books and magazines to find the relevant about the topic which requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, when tourists visit a new country, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no information about that place.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
visiting the nation, they search the websites through the internet to know about the region.
Consequently
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visit all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
places there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their trip more enjoyable.
Hence
, it is a boon for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
life easier.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of material available on the internet. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their ability to do the work and takes lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to complete it.
For example
, when the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
projects on a certain subject in schools, they
usually
search on the internet to know more regarding the subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can gain in-depth knowledge of it and do not face any problem while making it.
Further
, it increases their accuracy in making the project.
Thus
, it is apparent that the internet boosts the capability of doing work and it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on any matter whenever they needed and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of work. In my opinion, the internet is a boon for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easier by
easily
providing the particulars.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1832 do you think that the possibility of working from home via the internet will lead to many people going back to the countryside? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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