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You want to appear for an interview to an another city by train. The train departed late from the station and you could not reach in time. Write a letter to the railway officer of your city. In your letter. When you traveled and why the train departed late. v.1

You want to appear for an interview to an another city by train. The train departed late from the station and you could not reach in time. Write a letter to the railway officer of your city. In your letter. When you traveled and why the train departed late. v. 1
In recent times, overeating processed food is undermining people’s health. It is often said that the situation should be dealt with by raising consumers’ awareness through education, while others argue that it is improbable. In my perspective, I agree that educating is ineffective and will discuss both points in this essay. On the one hand, educating people can partly solve the issue. Exposing adverse effects of junk food on their health helps them to realize its harm and acquire adequate knowledge of nourishing food. For example, when consumers are provided with information about food-related illnesses resulting from unhealthy food such as overweight, heart disease and high blood pressure, they may stop using it. Additionally, the educational approach is simpler than other ones. Governments do not need to take different solutions into consideration, such as regulating the food industry or using zoning laws to change local food environments which may be complicated and objected by the public to alleviate the situation. On the other hand, I am convinced that people are more unlikely to refrain from using fast food by being educated. Firstly, junk food generally has an eye-catching appearance and tastiness that immediately fascinate consumers. It is scientifically proven that sugar in processed food offers the hallmarks of addiction, for instance, withdrawal and craving, so just by educating, it is insurmountable. Secondly, junk food offers much greater convenience compared to home-cooked meals. Due to the increasingly rapid pace of life, consumers usually opt to buy fast food rather than making food themselves, though they may be aware of the destructive impacts of processed food to their health. To recapitulate, educating is not a conceivable way to address the problem. Governments should tackle the issue by alternative actions.
In recent times, overeating processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is undermining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that the situation should
be dealt
with by raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers’
awareness through education, while others argue that it is improbable. In my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
is ineffective and will discuss both points in this essay.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can partly solve the issue. Exposing adverse effects of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on their health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to realize its harm and acquire adequate knowledge of nourishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
are provided
with information about food-related illnesses resulting from unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as overweight, heart disease and high blood pressure, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using it.
Additionally
, the educational approach is simpler than other ones.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
do not need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions into consideration, such as regulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry or using zoning laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
environments which may
be complicated
and objected by the public to alleviate the situation.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more unlikely to refrain from using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by
being educated
.
Firstly
, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
generally
has an eye-catching appearance and tastiness that immediately fascinate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
. It is
scientifically
proven that sugar in processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
offers the hallmarks of addiction,
for instance
, withdrawal and craving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
, it is insurmountable.
Secondly
, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
offers much greater convenience compared to home-cooked meals. Due to the
increasingly
rapid pace of life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
usually
opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
themselves, though they may be aware of the destructive impacts of processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to their health.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
is not a conceivable way to address the problem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should tackle the issue by alternative actions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You want to appear for an interview to an another city by train. The train departed late from the station and you could not reach in time. Write a letter to the railway officer of your city. In your letter. When you traveled and why the train departed late. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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