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149. Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific details to explain your answer v.1

149. Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific details to explain your answer v. 1
If I had a piece of land, I could get my dream executed there. My dream was to create a jungle in which animals could be completely free without any restriction done by human. This jungle would be beneficial in some ways; it is a source of Oxygen for the human, the habitats for wildlife, and a recreational place for children who want to know more about animals' lives. In what follow, I delineate my justifications and put forward my reasons in support the choice. First, as animals are suffering from the lack of habitats, a jungle could be a great place for them to keep from being extinct. In addition, it would be asked people to bring any pets or animals which are injured in their surroundings to get some medicine or get cured by the veterinarians. They are quite a number of animals like cats and dogs suffering from the lack of food and habitat. So, this small green land could save a myriad of animals which are in danger in the cities or countryside. Second, with creating a jungle, the land could be used in the best way for human beings, as it generates Oxygen by the trees along with acting as a recreational place. This place could be extremely defined differently from the other parks, as there are just a few cement buildings and structures. Less or more, the place can improve or rebuild the poor relationship between human and nature in another way. The last but not least, I follow an important goal by creating this small nature, which is to reject the zoos. As a matter of fact, the various species of animals are in danger and pressure in the terrible places named zoos. In fact, this partially natural environment with putting animals in the jungle gives the opportunity to the individuals who want to know more about the wild animals or pets in their nature. Consequently, with depicting animals' freedom in the place, it could be taken one step to deny or repudiate the zoos which imprison those animals by separating them from their native habitats. To my perspective, it will be a great idea, if I can create a jungle to follow my reasons mentioned in above argument. Even though there might be some sophisticated persons who counter my statement, but I still cite a clear bias in favor of the wildlife.
If I had a piece of land, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my dream executed there. My dream was to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jungle
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
could be completely free without any restriction done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jungle
would be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways; it is a source of Oxygen for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, the habitats for wildlife, and a recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for children who want to know more about
Possible spelling mistake found.
animals&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In what follow, I delineate my justifications and put forward my reasons in support the choice.

First
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are suffering from the lack of habitats, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jungle
could be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
from being extinct.
In addition
, it would
be asked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to bring any pets or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which
are injured
in their surroundings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicine or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cured by the veterinarians. They are quite a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like cats and dogs suffering from the lack of food and habitat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
green land could save a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in the cities or countryside.

Second, with creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jungle
, the land could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, as it generates Oxygen by the trees along with acting as a recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
could be
extremely
defined
differently
from the other parks, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few cement buildings and structures. Less or more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
or rebuild the poor relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and nature in another way.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I follow an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
goal by creating this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
nature, which is to reject the zoos. As a matter of fact, the various species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and pressure in the terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
named zoos. In fact, this
partially
natural environment with putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jungle
gives the opportunity to the individuals who want to know more about the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or pets in their nature.
Consequently
, with depicting
Possible spelling mistake found.
animals&
#039; freedom in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, it could
be taken
one step to deny or repudiate the zoos which imprison those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by separating them from their native habitats.

To my perspective, it will be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, if I can create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jungle
to follow my reasons mentioned in above argument.
Even though
there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated persons who counter my statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
cite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
bias in favor of the wildlife.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay 149. Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific details to explain your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
400 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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