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Some people believe that success in life come from taking risks or chance. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v.2

Some people believe that success in life come from taking risks or chance. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v. 2
Success and progress in all aspects of life are results that everybody is looking for. People survey and analyze their works based on their achievements. There are two contentious thoughts about how success can be achieved; some individuals believe it comes from taking risk, while the others ponder that it comes from careful planning. From my perspective, even though there are some prosperous persons who could be famous and make money by taking unexpected advantages in their lives, the most successful people could get progressed by accurate plan besides a treasury of their experience. First, taking risk can not be a wise idea to get somewhere as it is not according to the knowledge and experience. Let' s face with fact; there are enormous persons who lost everything by putting their eggs in one basket. At first, we they confronted with an incredible proposal, they speculated that it was their luck and best chance of life. They commenced to dream about being successful and maybe reminded some familiar ones in their surrounding who could have become nabob by the same circumstances. However, finally, they comprehended and found themselves a real loser by taking their neck on the line. No doubt. it is ridiculous in this complicated world, we take something on the go without any plan or even experience about if, as we might lose our best time of the life, investment, asset, or other unforeseen things. Second, laudably prosperous persons are punctual persons who had exactly appropriate plan for their doings. They could perform prodigious actions and accomplishments by thinking over and pondering before starting their works. We can be sure and positive when the most scientists, artists, and professors start explaining about the ways they were taking. Obviously, they assert only the conscious plan as well as tremendous perseverance as underlying rules and instruction to hit the goal and boost the success. Finally, by taking all above-mentioned argument in consideration, I reiterate that taking risk is not logically a valid idea to be successful and catch progress, nevertheless, by a careful plan; we can fulfill everything, which we really feel like in our life. As the world is full of persons who can be absolutely real instances for my justification on the controversial question.
Success and progress in all aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are results that everybody is looking for.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
survey and analyze their works based on their achievements. There are two contentious thoughts about how success can
be achieved
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, while the others ponder that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from careful planning. From my perspective,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money by taking unexpected advantages in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the most successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
progressed by accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
besides
a treasury of their experience.

First
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
can not be a wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
somewhere as it is not according to the knowledge and experience.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Let&
#039; s face with fact; there are enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lost everything by putting their eggs in one basket. At
first
, we they confronted with an incredible proposal, they speculated that it was their luck and best chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They commenced to dream about being successful and maybe reminded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
familiar ones in their surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
could have become nabob by the same circumstances.
However
,
finally
, they comprehended and found themselves a real loser by taking their neck on the line. No doubt.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is ridiculous in this complicated world, we take something on the go without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
or even experience about if, as we might lose our best time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, investment, asset, or other unforeseen things.

Second,
laudably
prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are punctual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had exactly appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for their doings. They could perform prodigious actions and accomplishments by thinking over and pondering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting their works. We can be sure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
when the most scientists, artists, and professors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
explaining about the ways they were taking.
Obviously
, they assert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the conscious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
as well
as tremendous perseverance as underlying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and instruction to hit the goal and boost the success.

Finally
, by taking all above-mentioned argument in consideration, I reiterate that taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is not
logically
a valid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to be successful and catch progress,
nevertheless
, by a careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
; we can fulfill everything, which we
really
feel like in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As the world is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can be
absolutely
real instances for my justification on the controversial question.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success in life come from taking risks or chance. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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