Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A gift (such as a camera, soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to be a child's development. what gift would you give to help a child develop? v.2

A gift (such as a camera, soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to be a child's development. what gift would you give to help a child develop? v. 2
Although gifts are things that can motivate children to perform and act correctly, a specific gift can lead children to catch something beyond the expectations. In fact, parents can exhort their offspring by giving vast varieties of stuff, but a gift like a camera can change children' s way of thinking and has great role in their developments in different ways. In the following passage, it will be more obvious how a camera can pave a child' s path to the success. First, a child with camera thinks more about surrounding world and can understand the nature well. Suppose how many pictures a child can take of nature and human and how much he might mull over before and after catching scenes. For instance, a photograph of a majestic mountain or a spectacular current of a river can bring about a person speculates and interprets the dignity, glory, and splendor of nature and God' s power. Similarly, with the pictures of numerous populations in society, a child can result in thinking about some absolute truth of human nature like pain, happiness, mirth, anger, or justice which he might catch by each shut. Second, a camera as a symbol of technology makes teenagers get ready to utilize other forms of modern technology. Ostensibly, children take an initiation with a camera and susceptibly end in using the Internet, computers, and smart phones. Less or more, working with any form of technology has some degree of advancement and causes a child to get a chance to improve some skills. In this way, a child with great memories of a present like a camera becomes more eager and enthusiastic about future technology and consequently, he finds an innovative mind to get to know about the other new scientific technologies as well. Finally, I ponder that parents can assist extremely their children to get progressed by endowing a unique gift such as a camera. No wonder, the camera makes children discern the universe better and gets them acquainted with complex technology of today.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are things that can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to perform and act
correctly
, a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to catch something beyond the expectations. In fact, parents can exhort their offspring by giving vast varieties of stuff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s way of thinking and has great role in their developments in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. In the following passage, it will be more obvious how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
can pave a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s path to the success.

First
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
more about surrounding world and can understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
well. Suppose how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pictures a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can take of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and human and how much he might mull over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after catching scenes.
For instance
, a photograph of a majestic mountain or a spectacular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
of a river can bring about a person speculates and interprets the dignity, glory, and splendor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
God&
#039; s power.
Similarly
, with the pictures of numerous populations in society, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can result in thinking about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
absolute truth of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
like pain, happiness, mirth, anger, or justice which he might catch by each shut.

Second, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
as a symbol of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready to utilize other forms of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Ostensibly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take an initiation with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
susceptibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
in using the Internet, computers, and smart phones. Less or more, working with any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree of advancement and causes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In this way, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with great memories of a present like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
becomes more eager and enthusiastic about future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
consequently
, he finds an innovative mind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the other new scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
as well
.

Finally
, I ponder that parents can assist
extremely
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
progressed by endowing a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
. No wonder, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
discern the universe better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
them acquainted with complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay A gift (such as a camera, soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to be a child's development. what gift would you give to help a child develop? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts