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Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Is this development positive or negative for both individuals and society? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Is this development positive or negative for both individuals and society? v. 2
It is argued that receiving in universities should be based on the gender. This essay disagrees with this statement because the criteria for selection should be a person's merit and not the gender, and it would require the same number of applications from each gender, which is impossible for every subject. Firstly, an individual's merit plays a critical role in their future education. Furthermore, the fact that a person is a male or female does not affect their ability to perform. Universities look at persons' marks and achievements rather than their gender as some people tend to be more deserving of the seats than others. Often there are insufficient seats in universities, due to which some people do not get a chance of getting accepted. For example, a recent study concluded that most of the universities select their candidates based on their performance and not whether they are masculine or feminine. Secondly, for an academy to take applications must be permitted to allow an equal number of males and female candidates in a subject. This is not possible because there are certain areas of study which are done by males better or vice versa. For instance, recent research found that some studies like nursing, cooking are more suitable for females than males which might leave a certain number of seats empty if universities allowed only uniform applicability of each gender. In conclusion, this approach of taking uniform applicants based on a gender-specific criteria is not logical. Altogether, the selection of university students should be based on merit, and it would be both impractical and unfair to change to a selection procedure based on gender.
It
is argued
that receiving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
be based
on the gender. This essay disagrees with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the criteria for selection should be a person's merit and not the gender, and it would require the same number of applications from each gender, which is impossible for every subject.

Firstly
, an individual's merit plays a critical role in their future education.
Furthermore
, the fact that a person is a male or female does not affect their ability to perform.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
look at persons' marks and achievements
rather
than their gender as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to be more deserving of the seats than others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
there are insufficient seats in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance of getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
For example
, a recent study concluded that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
select their candidates based on their performance and not whether they are masculine or feminine.

Secondly
, for an academy to take applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be permitted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
an equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and female candidates in a subject. This is not possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are certain areas of study which
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
better or vice versa.
For instance
, recent research found that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies like nursing, cooking are more suitable for females than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a certain number of seats empty if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
uniform applicability of each gender.

In conclusion
, this approach of taking uniform applicants based on a gender-specific
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "criterion"?
criteria
is not logical. Altogether, the selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
students should
be based
on merit, and it would be both impractical and unfair to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to a selection procedure based on gender.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Is this development positive or negative for both individuals and society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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