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13-1. Describe a place that you like best in your city. Please state why you like itwith specific examples and details. v.1

13-1. Describe a place that you like best in your city. Please state why you like itwith specific examples and details. v. 1
It is a fact that, making the right decision at the right time is very important for the growth of a company. Many people believe decision making in a company should be centralized, while others argue that, companies should have a more collective approach to decision making. I believe, although it is very important to hear out the employees while making a critical decision, the final say should come from the upper management and in this essay, I will put forth my views with suitable examples. Firstly, those who believe companies should involve employees while making important decisions think that, such process will enable better decision making compared to when a bunch of executives sitting around a round table to make decisions. For example, in a start-up environment, were sometimes the upper management itself is relatively inexperienced; it is better to go for a collective approach to decision making involving the employees. However, the main problem I see in such approach is that, time taken to reach a consensus on a problem or an issue is very high and this sometimes will have an adverse effect on the growth of the company, especially in today's competitive market. On the other side, having a centralized decision making system means that companies can become more agile and adapt to changing market dynamics much faster. For instance, one of the main problems faced by many automotive OEM's is that, they are not able to bring our their cars into the market on time. When a survey was conducted among the executives it was found that, the main reason for this is slow decision making. Moreover, all the employees in a company will not have or know the broader context or the consequence of a decision and this sometimes will lead myopic decision making which will not help companies in the long run. To conclude, although it is important for companies to listen to their employees and take their opinion into account while making a decision, I believe the final go ahead should come from the managers
It is a fact that, making the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
at the right time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should
be centralized
, while others argue that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should have a more collective approach to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to hear out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
while making a critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, the final say should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the upper management and in this essay, I will put forth my views with suitable examples.

Firstly
, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
while making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, such process will enable better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
compared to when a bunch of executives sitting around a round table to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
For example
, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up environment, were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the upper management itself is
relatively
inexperienced; it is better to go for a collective approach to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
involving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
However
, the main problem I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in such approach is that, time taken to reach a consensus on a problem or an issue is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
will have an adverse effect on the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive market.

On the other side, having a centralized
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
system means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can become more agile and adapt to changing market dynamics much faster.
For instance
, one of the main problems faced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
automotive
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'OEM'.
OEM's
is that, they are not able to bring our their cars into the market on time. When a survey
was conducted
among the executives it
was found
that, the main reason for this is slow
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
Moreover
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will not have or know the broader context or the consequence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and this
The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put between 'will' and 'lead'.
sometimes will lead
myopic
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the long run.

To conclude
, although it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and take their opinion into account while making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the final go ahead should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the managers
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay 13-1. Describe a place that you like best in your city. Please state why you like itwith specific examples and details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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