Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

11. Describe a place that you like best in your city. Please state why you like itwith specific examples and details. v.1

11. Describe a place that you like best in your city. Please state why you like itwith specific examples and details. v. 1
Many people believe that the best way to educate children is by teaching them at home as it leads to a positive future. On the other side, some argue that school education is more vital than home teaching. This essay will examine some of the key advantages of both the approaches with relevant examples. All of us are fully aware of the adverse impact of child bullying that happens inside the school. Recently, a survey conducted by ABC news suggested that the reports on child bullying in some of the North American states have increased by 20 percent in the last ten years. Moreover, during my school days, I saw many students suffering from social anxiety and nervous breakdown due to the rampant bullying. Teaching children at home under the supervision of parents will significantly reduce down the bullying and will lead to a more secure future. On the other hand, getting exposure to school is quite important as it gives children a good opportunity to interact with each other. In addition, this interaction helps them to develop many communication skills and soft skills such as leadership qualities, team work, how to deal with different personalities, etc. When I was in 8th grade, I got the opportunity to lead my school chess team. Although it was quite hard initially as I never knew how to manage a team, it soon got better as I learned how to motivate my team better and aligned them towards a common goal. As a result, we ended up winning the gold medal in one of the zonal competition that year. In conclusion, home education protects children from bullying and help them to have a secure future. However, going to school is also important as it helps in development of leadership qualities in children, which later helps them in their future careers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the best way to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is by teaching them at home as it leads to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
future. On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education is more vital than home teaching. This essay will examine
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
key advantages of both the approaches with relevant examples.

All of us are
fully
aware of the adverse impact of child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
that happens inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Recently, a survey conducted by ABC news suggested that the reports on child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
North American states have increased by 20 percent in the last ten years.
Moreover
, during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students suffering from social anxiety and nervous breakdown due to the rampant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home under the supervision of parents will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
and will lead to a more secure future.

On the other hand
, getting exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to interact with each other.
In addition
, this interaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as leadership qualities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
work, how to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities, etc. When I was in 8th grade, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the opportunity to lead my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
chess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. Although it was quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
initially
as I never knew how to manage a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
better as I learned how to motivate my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
better and aligned them towards a common goal.
As a result
, we ended up winning the gold medal in one of the zonal competition that year.

In conclusion
, home education protects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to have a secure future.
However
, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in development of leadership qualities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them in their future careers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 11. Describe a place that you like best in your city. Please state why you like itwith specific examples and details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts