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11. describe a place that you like best in your city? please state why you like it with specific examples and details. v.1

11. describe a place that you like best in your city? please state why you like it with specific examples and details. v. 1
In most of the nation, teenagers are not much interested to read newspapers and watch news on Televisions. There are many reasons behind this and most important is that youngsters are not dependent on Tv's and print media like newspapers. They can get updates from the Internet. There are several reasons why young adults no longer read newspapers. One of the main reasons is the evolution of the Information technology. They don't need to get knowledge about the world from the newspaper because they can take everything from the internet. For example, the google, twitter and other social websites help to get instant updating. Another reason is that, the outdated way of news presentation on news channels. Youngsters have less patience to read long news and they need small sized information. Most of the adolescents have least interest in boring information such as politics and business which are always telecast by the news channels. However, juveniles should be encouraged to read news on Tv's and newspaper because these are the best source of information. It is not like a social media where gossips are spreading faster than the truth. The newspaper should do something to get the attention of young people. For example, they should create a content that completes their needs such as sports, stories and movies. Therefore, to take their attentions, these stories should be more coverage. Moreover, we should tell them the benefits of reading newspapers. For example, they can make their commands strong in reading by reading news and learn new vocabulary. To conclude, young people don't like to follow newspapers because they get updates from other sources like the Internet. However, by creating content, news channels can win their attentions towards news.
In most of the nation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are not much interested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on Televisions. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that youngsters are not dependent on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
's and print media like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updates from the Internet.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why young adults no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is the evolution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
technology. They don't need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about the world from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can take everything from the internet.
For example
, the
"Google" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
google
, twitter and other social websites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
instant updating. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, the outdated way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
presentation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels. Youngsters have less patience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
long
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
news and
they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Most of the adolescents have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
interest in boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as politics and business which are always telecast by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels.

However
, juveniles should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
's and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are the best source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. It is not like a social media where gossips are spreading faster than the truth. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
should do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, they should create a content that completes their needs such as sports, stories and movies.
Therefore
, to take their attentions, these stories should be more coverage.
Moreover
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them the benefits of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their commands strong in reading by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
vocabulary.

To conclude
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't like to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updates from other sources like the Internet.
However
, by creating content,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels can win their attentions towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay 11. describe a place that you like best in your city? please state why you like it with specific examples and details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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