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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fro v.31

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? 31
Some people say that the main environmental problem today is the loss of particular species of plants and animals, whereas others consider that there are more important environmental problems. Based on my knowledge, the loss of particular species of plants and animals may represent a threat to our planet to some extent. For instance, there are a lot of studies which suggest that the extinction of bees would create a chain of events which will eventually lead to life ceasing to exist on Earth, all forms of lives, not only humans or some particular species of animals. But the possibility of such events is very unlikely. Until now, all of the lost species do not represent a danger. Our quality of life is not impacted by the extinction of a rhinoceros species or the Edelweiss flower. The loss of species is usually caused by two factors: climate change and illegal hunting. The latter usually has a higher impact and is a well known practice due to high prices on the black market of certain animal parts, such as rhinoceros horns. On the other hand, there are multiple environmental problems which have stronger effects, for instance, climate change. Besides the fact that climate change can lead to loss of animals and plant species, it has multiple other consequences, like forest fires, sea level risings, more and more severe storms and high temperatures. All of those posses a more serious threat to our lives. They can lead to very difficult living conditions in certain areas which would eventually affect the economy, conflicts would escalate and wars are a real possibility as populations need to migrate. Climate change is caused by enormous amounts of pollution produced by human activity, such as planes, cars, ships, factories and much more. In my honest opinion, even though the loss of certain species is a tragedy, I believe that there are other, far more important problems which are also the root cause of species extinction. Humanity should focus more on the root causes of species extinction, which are more important, and find solutions to stop them. Focusing on side effects will not solve our problems and will only allow them to escalate. Climate change is the biggest problem we currently have and its scale is much bigger than the extinction of some animal or plant species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the main environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, whereas others consider that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
environmental problems.

Based on my knowledge, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
may represent a threat to our planet to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
studies which suggest that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of bees would create a chain of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which will
eventually
lead to life ceasing to exist on Earth, all forms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
humans or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the possibility of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unlikely. Until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
lost species do not represent a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. Our quality of life is not impacted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of a rhinoceros species or the Edelweiss flower. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of species is
usually
caused by two factors:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and illegal hunting. The latter
usually
has a higher impact and is a well known practice due to high prices on the black market of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
parts, such as rhinoceros horns.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are multiple environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which have stronger effects,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Besides
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species, it has multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
consequences, like forest fires, sea level risings, more and more severe storms and high temperatures. All of those posses a more serious threat to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult living conditions in certain areas which would
eventually
affect the economy, conflicts would escalate and wars are a real possibility as populations need to migrate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is caused
by enormous amounts of pollution produced by human activity, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, cars, ships, factories and much more.

In my honest opinion,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of certain species is a tragedy, I believe that there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "others"?
other
, far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which are
also
the root cause of species
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. Humanity should focus more on the root causes of species
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
, which are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, and find solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them. Focusing on side effects will not solve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to escalate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
we
currently
have and its scale is much bigger than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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