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12 94 work with mistakes Describe an interesting person you recently met. You should sayWho the person wasWhen and where you met this personWhat you did togetherAnd explain why you think the person was interesting v.1

12 94 work with mistakes Describe an interesting person you recently met. You should sayWho the person wasWhen and where you met this personWhat you did togetherAnd explain why you think the person was interesting v. 1
It is often believed that the ideal way of bringing multiform people together is by music. In my own perspective, I agree enough to say the statement above is true due to music can affect mood someone and unite people who might not know each other in advance. Some people feel in a good mood when they use music, either the artists who make a masterpiece with music or others who listen to that masterpiece. Musicians mostly are not alone when they make a creation, particularly a kind of songs and arrangements. Furthermore, most of them are into the music. They are excited composing any sort of music, even if singing a song that another composer who creates that. They do not too much to think regarding where is the composer from or what is the composer tribe, moreover only the skin. Only if the creation is suitable with the singer's voice, he or she will present it in a debut. It is also applicable to the listeners that always enjoy and never being cared about the cultures of musicians whom both singer and songwriter have. They just can be fond of the effects of listening to the music heard. In addition, music can unite any people who are into it. It can build the relationship between music lovers, even if they are strangers first. Albeit it has a different rhythm or colour, when a group of people listen to music, they only could be singing together eventually. According to the research, the doctors are using music to their patients in the hospital since it helps them feel better in some cases. Another example is when two persons meet at an event, whereby there was a television or a radio plays some music that they knew or woke up them from their moments and memories, they would be indirectly ended up singing or humming together. At this rate, it is very likely for them to acquaint each other without thinking their colour skin or culture are different. In conclusion, I agree some people would be happy only by hearing, acting, or reacting to music, and it brings them to the new relationship no matter they come from, neither their tribes nor their cultures.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that the ideal way of bringing multiform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together is by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to say the statement above is true due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can affect mood someone and unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
might not know each other in advance.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, either the artists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a masterpiece with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
listen to that masterpiece. Musicians
mostly
are not alone when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a creation,
particularly
a kind of songs and arrangements.
Furthermore
, most of them are into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. They
are excited
composing any sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, even if singing a song that another composer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
creates that. They do not too much to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
regarding where is the composer from or what is the composer tribe,
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the skin.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
if the creation is suitable with the singer's voice, he or she will present it in a debut. It is
also
applicable to the listeners that always enjoy and never
being cared
about the cultures of musicians whom both singer and songwriter have. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can be fond of the effects of listening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
heard.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can unite any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are into it. It can build the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lovers, even if they are strangers
first
. Albeit it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
rhythm or
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, when a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
could be singing together
eventually
. According to the research, the doctors are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to their patients in the hospital since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them feel better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. Another example is when two persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
at an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, whereby there was a television or a radio plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that they knew or woke up them from their moments and memories, they would be
indirectly
ended up singing or humming together. At this rate, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely for them to acquaint each other without thinking their
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
skin or culture are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by hearing, acting, or reacting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and it brings them to the new relationship no matter they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from, neither their tribes nor their cultures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay 12 94 work with mistakes Describe an interesting person you recently met. You should sayWho the person wasWhen and where you met this personWhat you did togetherAnd explain why you think the person was interesting v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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