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The professor describes the mistakes that are made in teaching children mathematics. Explain how these mistakes relate to the problems that children have in understanding fractions. v.1

The professor describes the mistakes that are made in teaching children mathematics. Explain how these mistakes relate to the problems that children have in understanding fractions. v. 1
While many people are convinced the state’s dignity has perpetually spurred nations into action relating to space exploration, I believe that, although this is a significant factor, innate craving for discovery of novel things is a primary aspect driving people to this. In my opinion, research on outer space will unambiguously become easier and more progressive in the future due to the advancement in technology. To begin with, desire of boasting a good reputation has always constituted a psychological tool which impelled people to perform something to take pride in. This, without a doubt, is also true for the countries themselves; however, in my view, aspiration to acquire new knowledge has been an even stronger propeller in space exploration. After all, had it not been for the intrinsic pursuit of findings, Christopher Columbus would have never opened the Americas and the magnetic declination. With regards to the future, even though I don't think severe alterations will take place, space exploration will obviously break new ground thanks to the development of the new enhanced technology. This will in turn yield compelling results capable of modifying humanity’s understanding of the world in addition to their habitat. For instance, the first long-range military rocket was invented in 1806, yet it was only in 1981 that the voyage of the Space Shuttle was realized. To me, this fact serves as a vivid justification that space exploration changes in step with people's technological accomplishments. All the points I have mentioned draw me to the inference that the rationale grounded on ambitions outweighs the significance of dignity when speaking about what stimulates populations to succeed in the space “race”. From my point of view, in the long run, space exploration will only gradually get refined in parallel with our achievements in the applied sciences.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are convinced
the state’s dignity has
perpetually
spurred nations into action relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
, I believe that, although this is a significant factor, innate craving for discovery of novel things is a primary aspect driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to this. In my opinion, research on outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
will
unambiguously
become easier and more progressive in the future due to the advancement in technology.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, desire of boasting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation has always constituted a psychological tool which impelled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to perform something to take pride in. This, without a doubt, is
also
true for the countries themselves;
however
, in my view, aspiration to acquire new knowledge has been an even stronger propeller in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
.
After all
, had it not been for the intrinsic pursuit of findings, Christopher Columbus would have never opened the Americas and the magnetic declination.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the future,
even though
I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
severe alterations will take place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
will
obviously
break new ground thanks to the development of the new enhanced technology. This will in turn yield compelling results capable of modifying humanity’s understanding of the world
in addition
to their habitat.
For instance
, the
first
long-range military rocket
was invented
in 1806,
yet
it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in 1981 that the voyage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
Shuttle
was realized
. To me, this fact serves as a vivid justification that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in step with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's technological accomplishments.

All the points I have mentioned draw me to the inference that the rationale grounded on ambitions outweighs the significance of dignity when speaking about what stimulates populations to succeed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
“race”. From my point of view, in the long run,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
refined in parallel with our achievements in the applied sciences.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The professor describes the mistakes that are made in teaching children mathematics. Explain how these mistakes relate to the problems that children have in understanding fractions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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