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1174 should individuals or governments be responsible for making people's lifestyle healthy? v.1

1174 should individuals or governments be responsible for making people's lifestyle healthy? v. 1
In recent times, foreign visitors rather than local residents, mainly visit museums and ancient sites. This is because, local citizens do not value their history and nationwide heritage programmes could solve this. Most local people, especially those of the millennial generation, are out of touch with their indigenous histories. This has resulted from an overload of information via the internet and other sources, which is more focused on present entertainment, or on getting ahead. Thus, there is less focus on the events of the past and the significance which they hold, meaning no value for history. For example, a recent survey of 10, 000 Americans aged 18 to 45, found that only 11% of them could remember when and why the Vietnam war was fought. To encourage more visits to historical places by residents therefore, governments ought to carry out comprehensive cultural heritage programmes across their countries. These programmes should include features such as media broadcasts and enticing advertisements on national channels and social media, as well as remodel old sites so that they are more visually appealing. For example, a recent study of tourism in South Africa has indicated that after a 6-month heritage sensitization programme carried out by the government the percentage of citizens visiting museums and cultural sites increased from 20% to 58% in 2018. In conclusion, citizens have little value for their local histories and, as a result, pay fewer visits to museums and historical locations. This can be solved using national sensitization programmes geared at raising awareness on the significance of past events.
In recent times, foreign visitors
rather
than
local
residents,
mainly
visit museums and ancient sites. This is
because
,
local
citizens do not value their
history
and nationwide heritage
programmes
could solve this.

Most
local
people
,
especially
those of the millennial generation, are out of touch with their indigenous
histories
. This has resulted from an overload of information via the internet and other sources, which is more focused on present entertainment, or on getting ahead.
Thus
, there is less focus on the
events
of the past and the significance which they hold, meaning no value for
history
.
For example
, a recent survey of 10, 000 Americans aged 18 to 45, found that
only
11% of them could remember when and why the
Vietnam war
was fought
.

To encourage more visits to historical places by residents
therefore
,
governments
ought to carry out comprehensive cultural heritage
programmes
across their countries. These
programmes
should include features such as media broadcasts and enticing advertisements on national channels and social media,
as well
as remodel
old
sites
so
that they are more
visually
appealing.
For example
, a recent study of tourism in South Africa has indicated that after a 6-month heritage sensitization
programme
carried out by the
government
the percentage of citizens visiting museums and cultural sites increased from 20% to 58% in 2018.

In conclusion
, citizens have
little
value for their
local
histories
and,
as a result
, pay fewer visits to museums and historical locations. This can
be solved
using national sensitization
programmes
geared at raising awareness on the significance of past
events
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1174 should individuals or governments be responsible for making people's lifestyle healthy? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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