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In times of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support? 1. Art2. Scientific research3. Parks and public gardens v.1

In times of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support? 1. Art2. Scientific research3. Parks and public gardens v. 1
Evil is a cancer exist in an every nation around the world. Although certain individuals believe that it is good to spend a huge amount to eradicate the source of crime. Others think that the government ought to incur on sentence. In my opinion, I completely support the former notion to spend funds on identifying the root cause. On the one hand, People are thinking that government must finance to find the purpose to remove from our society and I agree. Criminals are present everywhere in the society and they have adopted this black path because they lack education and also they are jobless. The budget, which is allocated to this cause can be spent to set up rehabilitation centre to provide them knowledge and simultaneously criminals must be offered or placed in menial jobs in the private sector. By carrying our such exercise can minimise certain percentage of crime and gradually as time pass this can be erased completely. For instance, As per a study in India, It was concluded by the researcher that centre of training to criminals and labour intensive work have proven successful. On the other hand, People believe that the administration must fund to give harsh punishment to the wrong doing individuals because criminals will take a note and try to avoid committing or indulging in any such activities. The other set of petty crimes can also find a valuable lesson and prefer staying away from the crime. For example, in India, In the parliamentary bill is passed to hang the rapist and murders quickly and this was supported by providing financial assistance. This was a successful measure in treating for criminals and it helped in removing the crime from the society. In conclusion, while people vary in their opinion, I strongly agreed with creating education centre and providing jobs to the criminals.
Evil is a cancer exist in an every nation around the world.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
certain individuals believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to spend a huge amount to eradicate the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to incur on sentence. In my opinion, I completely support the former notion to spend funds on identifying the root cause.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are thinking that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
finance to find the purpose to remove from our society and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
are present everywhere in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they have adopted this black path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack education and
also
they are jobless. The budget, which
is allocated
to this cause can
be spent
to set up rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
to provide them knowledge and
simultaneously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be offered
or placed in menial jobs in the private sector. By carrying our such exercise can
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
certain percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
gradually
as time pass this can
be erased
completely.
For instance
, As per a study in India, It
was concluded
by the researcher that
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of training to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
labour intensive
work have proven successful.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that the administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fund to give harsh punishment to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doing individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will take a note and try to avoid committing or indulging in any such activities. The other set of petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
also
find a valuable lesson and prefer staying away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, in India, In the parliamentary bill
is passed
to hang the rapist and murders
quickly
and this
was supported
by providing financial assistance. This was a successful measure in treating for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in removing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from the society.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary in their opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with creating education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and providing jobs to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay In times of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support? 1. Art2. Scientific research3. Parks and public gardens v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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