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Task 1: The information below gives details about household income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in one UK city in 2010 and 2013. v.1

Task 1: The information below gives details about household income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in one UK city in 2010 and 2013. v. 1
A NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT THE MIXTURE OF DIVERSE PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES LIVING IN A PLACE ENABLES THE NATION TO GROW EXPEDITIOUSLY. THIS ESSAY WOULD ARGUE MY OPINION WHICH STATES THAT DIVERSITY PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE IN A ECONOMIC GROWTH. TO START WITH, IT IS THOUGHT BY SOME THAT HAVING HUMANS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD WITH DIFFERENT CULTURAL BACKGROUND INHABITING A COMMUNITY, MAKES THEM EVOLVE FASTER. IT IS OF IMPORTANCE TO NOTE THAT ONE OF THE MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF HUMANS IS THEIR ABILITY TO ACCLIMATISE VERY FAST. LIKEWISE, PEOPLE FROM A VARIETY OF PLACES ADAPT TO NEW TECHNOLOGIES IN THE SAME WAY. INFACT, THEY COME WITH A VARIETY OF INNOVATIVE IDEAS, WHEN PUT TOGETHER, AIDS THE COUNTRY BOOST ITS ECONOMY AND THUS DEVELEOPMENT. TO ILLUSTRATE, A GROUP OF EXPERTS WORKING FROM THE MIDDLE EAST, ASIA AND, IRELAND WERE WORKING ON A PROJECT ON SOLAR ENERGY IN A REMOTE AREA IN SIBERIA, WHICH ONLY TOOK THEM A THIRD OF THE TIME ALLOCATED FOR IT. ON FINISHING THEIR WORK, MANY CONFESSED THAT IT WAS THEIR PAST KNOWLEDGE AND FLEXIBILITY THAT HELPED THEM GREATLY. ON THE BASIS OF THIS, A NUMBER OF PEOPLE OPINE THAT HUMAN BEINGS FROM VARIOUS NATIONS LIVING TOGETHER WOULD HELP A NATION ADVANCE FASTER. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER, CERTAIN PERSONS OPINE THAT MANKIND FROM MULTIPLE NATIONALITIES RESIDING TOGETHER IN SAME COUNTRY ALLOWS IT TO PROGRESS SPEEDILY. ADMITTEDLY, SLOWER POPULATION GROWTH CAN MAKE A SOCIETY LESS GENEROUS AND LESS FLOURISHING. THEREFORE, IT IS REASONABLE TO THINK THAT THE SLUGGISHNESS IN THE GROWTH OF A SOCIETY HAS CONTRIBUTED TO ITS UNDER-DEVELOPMENT. FURTHERMORE, IN COMMUNITIES OF LOW BIRTHRATES, IMMIGRANTS ARE SEEN MAKING UP THE LABOUR FORCE AND SUBSEQUENTLY ENSURES THE PROSPERITY OF THE PLACE. FOR INSTANCE, IN 1978 NIGERIA WAS SEEN TO BE THE POOREST COUNTRY. DURING A SURVE, RESEARCHERS REMARKED THAT THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH WORKFORCE BECAUSE THERE WERE MORE DEATHRATES THAN BIRTHRATES AND FEW IMMIGRANTS. FOR THIS REASON, PEOPLE THINK THAT FOREIGNERS ARE ESSENTIAL IN THE BLOSSOMING OF A NATION. IN CONCLUSION, SOME ARE OF THE VIEW THAT HAVING A VARIETY OF HUMANS FROM A NUMBER OF CULTURAL BACKGROUNDS LIVING TOGETHER MOLDS A COUNYRY POSITIVELY. I SUPPORT THE NOTION BECAUSE MIGRANTS ARE KNOWN TO MAKE UP A HUGE PART OF THE WORKFORCE, WHICH LEADS TO A PRODUCTIVE ECONOMY. THIS ESSAY HAS PROFFERED REASONS WHY PERSONS FROM VARYING NATIONALITIES RESIDING TOGETHER WOULD ENABLE A SOCIETY TO BUILD UP.
A NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT THE MIXTURE OF DIVERSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
FROM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRIES
LIVING IN A PLACE ENABLES THE NATION TO GROW
EXPEDITIOUSLY
. THIS ESSAY WOULD ARGUE MY OPINION WHICH STATES THAT DIVERSITY PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE IN A ECONOMIC GROWTH.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
WITH, IT IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THOUGHT
BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
THAT HAVING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMANS
FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
CULTURAL BACKGROUND INHABITING A COMMUNITY,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKES
THEM EVOLVE FASTER. IT IS OF IMPORTANCE TO NOTE THAT ONE OF THE MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMANS
IS THEIR ABILITY TO
Possible spelling mistake. 'ACCLIMATISE' is British English.
ACCLIMATISE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
.
LIKEWISE
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
FROM A VARIETY OF PLACES ADAPT TO NEW TECHNOLOGIES
IN THE SAME WAY
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
INFACT
, THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
WITH A VARIETY OF INNOVATIVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IDEAS
, WHEN PUT TOGETHER, AIDS THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRY
BOOST ITS ECONOMY AND
THUS
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEVELEOPMENT
. TO ILLUSTRATE, A GROUP OF EXPERTS WORKING FROM THE MIDDLE EAST, ASIA AND, IRELAND WERE WORKING ON A PROJECT ON SOLAR ENERGY IN A REMOTE AREA IN SIBERIA, WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
TOOK THEM A THIRD OF THE TIME ALLOCATED FOR IT. ON FINISHING THEIR WORK,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
CONFESSED THAT IT WAS THEIR PAST KNOWLEDGE AND FLEXIBILITY THAT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPED
THEM
GREATLY
.

ON THE BASIS OF THIS, A NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
OPINE THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMAN
BEINGS FROM VARIOUS NATIONS LIVING TOGETHER WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
A NATION ADVANCE FASTER.

ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER, CERTAIN PERSONS OPINE THAT MANKIND FROM MULTIPLE NATIONALITIES RESIDING TOGETHER IN SAME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ALLOWS
IT TO PROGRESS
SPEEDILY
.
ADMITTEDLY
, SLOWER POPULATION GROWTH CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
A SOCIETY LESS GENEROUS AND LESS FLOURISHING.
THEREFORE
, IT IS REASONABLE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT THE SLUGGISHNESS IN THE GROWTH OF A SOCIETY HAS CONTRIBUTED TO ITS UNDER-DEVELOPMENT.
FURTHERMORE
, IN COMMUNITIES OF LOW BIRTHRATES, IMMIGRANTS ARE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
MAKING UP THE
Possible spelling mistake. 'LABOUR' is British English.
LABOUR
FORCE AND
SUBSEQUENTLY
ENSURES THE PROSPERITY OF THE PLACE.
FOR INSTANCE
, IN 1978 NIGERIA WAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
TO BE THE POOREST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRY
. DURING A
Possible spelling mistake found.
SURVE
, RESEARCHERS REMARKED THAT THERE WAS NOT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ENOUGH
WORKFORCE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THERE WERE MORE
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEATHRATES
THAN BIRTHRATES AND FEW IMMIGRANTS.

FOR THIS REASON
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT FOREIGNERS ARE ESSENTIAL IN THE BLOSSOMING OF A NATION.

IN CONCLUSION
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
ARE OF THE VIEW THAT HAVING A VARIETY OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HUMANS
FROM A NUMBER OF CULTURAL BACKGROUNDS LIVING TOGETHER MOLDS A
Possible spelling mistake found.
COUNYRY
POSITIVELY
. I SUPPORT THE NOTION
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
MIGRANTS
ARE KNOWN
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
UP A HUGE PART OF THE WORKFORCE, WHICH LEADS TO A PRODUCTIVE ECONOMY. THIS ESSAY HAS PROFFERED REASONS WHY PERSONS FROM VARYING NATIONALITIES RESIDING TOGETHER WOULD ENABLE A SOCIETY TO BUILD UP.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 1: The information below gives details about household income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in one UK city in 2010 and 2013. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
400 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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