Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.4

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. 4
Who should be in the right position to teach kids about being a respectful member of society is a very important question? Parents can do it better or teacher is always a debatable topic. On one hand, Teachers can use well defined contents with stories to teach students in a way which is easy to understand. The school has abilities to standardize the syllable, so that everyone receives the same education. For example, The school can organize events to clean streets which can help students be humble and helpful to their neighbourhood. Secondly, Parents are very busy these days with their jobs, especially when both parents are working. They can hardly find time to educate their kids. However, kids spend a lot more time with their parents as compare to teachers. Parents have the opportunity to have an impact in their kids life by teaching them social values. Also, kids usually tend to believe their parents more easily than their teachers. By spending more time with their kids, they can understand them better as well. In my personal opinion, it should be a joint effort to educate young adults about social behaviour. If kids learn about social values early on, it benefits everyone. Such approach also reduces the burden on both sides a bit. In addition, teachers and parents can have different things they they can help. In conclusion, putting a burden on either parents or teachers alone is not a right choice. Educating kids about social practices should be a joint responsibility.
Who should be in the right position to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
about being a respectful member of society is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
question?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can do it better or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is always a debatable topic.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well defined
contents with stories to teach students in a way which is easy to understand. The school has abilities to standardize the syllable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone receives the same education.
For example
, The school can organize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to clean streets which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students be humble and helpful to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy these days with their jobs,
especially
when both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working. They can hardly find time to educate their kids.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
spend a lot more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
have the opportunity to have an impact in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
life by teaching them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
usually
tend to believe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more
easily
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. By spending more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, they can understand them better
as well
.

In my personal opinion, it should be a joint effort to educate young adults about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values early on, it benefits everyone. Such approach
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the burden on both sides a bit.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things
Possible typo: you repeated a word
they they
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

In conclusion
, putting a burden on either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
alone is not a right choice. Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
practices should be a joint responsibility.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts