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Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Drug addiction is a severe problem faced in majority of youngsters these days. Some people think that the drug addicts should be treated as criminals, whereas others feel that they should be given proper treatment just like other ailing patients. This is a debatable argument, however this essay will discuss about both the views and my opinion on how we should handle drug addicts. As we know, that drugs are harmful for our health which causes many diseases, like lung cancer, mental disorders and many more. In my opinion, the drug addicts should be treated as other patients so that they can recover from the disease in time. It is very difficult to get rid of any of the addictions, so if a person is suffering from it, he should be given proper support from the doctors or any other health centres that can help them to get away from the addiction. Drugs are the costliest addiction because of which many people commit crime like theft to buy the drugs. Also, it is illegal in most of the countries the government has banned it already so that it is out of reach from the general public. In many countries, the government has made strict laws and heavy penalties against it so that they can completely demolish the intake of drugs. To conclude, the government should create awareness about the harmful effects of drugs and make strict rules against it. But, keeping in mind about the difficulty of leaving any sort of addiction, they should be given proper treatment against it to save their lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
addiction is a severe problem faced in
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
youngsters these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts should
be treated
as criminals, whereas others feel that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper treatment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ailing patients. This is a debatable argument,
however
this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
the views and my opinion on how we should handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts.

As we know, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are harmful for our health which causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases, like lung cancer, mental disorders and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts should
be treated
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can recover from the disease in time. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid
Consider simply using "of" instead.
of any of
the addictions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if a person is suffering from it, he should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper support from the doctors or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from the addiction.

Drugs are the costliest addiction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commit crime like theft to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Also
, it is illegal in most of the countries the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has banned it already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is out of reach from the
Consider using "public".
general public
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has made strict laws and heavy penalties against it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can completely demolish the intake of drugs.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create awareness about the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
against it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, keeping in mind about the difficulty of leaving any sort of addiction, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper treatment against it to save their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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