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The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK v.1

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK v. 1
There is no doubt that adolescence can be a difficult period in life for both youngsters and their parents. While some people believe that conflict at this time creates more harm than good, others argue that it is an essential phase of teenagers’ development. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view. On the one hand, those who believe teenage conflict is harmful might argue that it can lead to distress in relationships between parents and their children. This is because such disputes can cause unnecessary arguments and tension in the family. For example, it is quite common for young people to get addicted to playing video games for entertainment, but the resulting disagreements with parents can lead to difficulties with communication. In contrast, if there is no argument between parents and children, there will be a much greater sense of happiness among family members. On the other hand, my view is that this conflict is crucial because it can help youngsters to develop themselves. The reason for this is that by having disagreements adolescents can think and have their own opinions. For instance, a child may grow up in a family of meat-eaters but feel very strong about not eating meat. If this child does not voice their opinion, they will be going against their self-thoughts. However, if they are willing to engage in argument with their parents, their conscience will be much clearer despite the agony of the argument. In conclusion, although teenage conflict can create damaging relationships, it is my firm belief that this time of friction is a vital step on the path to teenagers becoming mature and independently-minded adults.
There is no doubt that adolescence can be a difficult period in life for both youngsters and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
at this time creates more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, others argue that it is an essential phase of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ development. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the latter view.

On the one hand, those who believe teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
is harmful might argue that it can lead to distress in relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such disputes can cause unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
and tension in the family.
For example
, it is quite common for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to playing video games for entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the resulting disagreements with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can lead to difficulties with communication.
In contrast
, if there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children, there will be a much greater sense of happiness among family members.

On the other hand
, my view is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
is crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters to develop themselves.
The reason for this is
that by having disagreements adolescents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions.
For instance
, a child may grow up in a family of meat-eaters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong about not eating meat. If this child does not voice their opinion, they will be going against their self-thoughts.
However
, if they are willing to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, their conscience will be much clearer despite the agony of the argument.

In conclusion
, although teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
can create damaging relationships, it is my firm belief that this time of friction is a vital step on the path to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
becoming mature and
independently
-minded adults.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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