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1. Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

1. Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
Nowadays, It is true that young generation tends to choose the big cities to be settled instead of living in their houses. However, there are both Pros and Cons. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons departure Let's begin by looking at the advantages of moving to urban regions. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, big cities provide employment opportunities as there are many multinational companies who want to hire young talents. Secondly, young people move to big cities to pursue further studies in Management, Science or Economics from well renowned Universities which are not present in rural areas. For example, recent empirical research by the Oxford University demonstrated that 90% of young people residing in rural areas post their graduation move to big cities for further studies or employment purpose. Therefore, This can make you clear that young people relocate to the big cities for fruitful opportunities, and to progress in life so that they can meet their family’s financial needs. Turning Other Side of the Argument, There is no doubt that there are several disadvantages to this migration, such as the exponential population growth in the cities which hits the cities’ infrastructure severely and Moreover migration leaves the rural areas abandoned and demotes some necessary professions such as farming. For instance, a recent study it has been found that 50 percent teenagers who shifted to urban area suffer from severe illness due to industrial pollution. On the other hand, The huge living expenses, lack of money and accommodation can create many problems for the new population. All things consider, most of the people in rural areas tend to move to big cities for reasons related to their career and their education. Although Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of opportunity eventually outweigh any negative
Nowadays, It is true that
young
generation tends to choose the
big
cities
to
be settled
instead
of living in their
houses
.
However
, there are both Pros and Cons. In this essay, I will discuss
some of the
reasons
departure


Let
's
begin
by looking at the advantages of moving to urban regions. The central reason behind this is twofold,
firstly
,
big
cities
provide employment opportunities as there are
many
multinational
companies
who want to hire
young
talents.
Secondly
,
young
people
move
to
big
cities
to pursue
further
studies in Management, Science or Economics from well renowned Universities which are not present in
rural
areas
.
For example
, recent empirical research by the Oxford University demonstrated that 90% of
young
people
residing in
rural
areas
post their graduation
move
to
big
cities
for
further
studies or employment purpose.
Therefore
, This can
make
you
clear
that
young
people
relocate to the
big
cities
for fruitful opportunities, and to progress in life
so
that they can
meet
their family’s financial needs.

Turning Other Side of the Argument, There is no doubt that there are several disadvantages to this migration, such as the exponential population growth in the
cities
which hits the
cities’
infrastructure
severely
and
Moreover
migration
leaves
the
rural
areas
abandoned and demotes
some
necessary professions such as farming.
For instance
, a recent study it has
been found
that 50 percent
teenagers
who shifted to urban
area
suffer from severe illness due to industrial pollution.
On the other hand
, The huge living expenses, lack of money and accommodation can create
many
problems for the new population.

All things consider, most of the
people
in
rural
areas
tend to
move
to
big
cities
for reasons related to their career and their education. Although
Personally
, I believe the benefits in terms of opportunity
eventually
outweigh any
negative
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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