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2915 do you think that sometimes comedians are carried away and make jokes that are not funny? v.1

2915 do you think that sometimes comedians are carried away and make jokes that are not funny? v. 1
In a modern society, average humanity attempt to imitate well-known people by reading magazines or watching TV. However, in my opinion, this is not suitable approach to copy famous people. This essay will discuss the factors that why encourage ordinary folks to imitate famous people and provide my opinion. To start with, there are several reasons for the increased fashion among people to follow celebrities. One reason is that people who call themselves fans of celebrities, such as actors or sports stars, also have the desire to be famous in the society. For example, a person who wears a shirt like his idol football player, Cristiano Ronaldo, thinks that he would gain more attention among his friends by wearing so. Moreover, there are some people who feel that if they follow their role models, they would also be able to achieve the luxurious lifestyle and huge success in their lives in terms of immense wealth, expensive cars and other such possessions. Therefore, ordinary people follow famous people because common personalities want to be like them. Though the trend of copying others is very common, it is really not an admirable thing. It is due to the fact that one can actually gain more happiness with one’s own style rather than copying someone by wearing similar clothes or possessing similar luxurious items which can only bring temporary happiness. Nevertheless, if ordinary people try to follow only good things from others such as principles and values, they will create own comfort and satisfaction. Hence, common humanity should not copy well-known people either reading magazines or watching, or copying their lifestyle, but conceive own way. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that most people attempt to imitate well-known personalities to improve their social status and to appear stylish. However, this trend is not appreciable as common people lose their originality by copying others.
In a modern society, average humanity attempt to imitate well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by reading magazines or watching TV.
However
, in my opinion, this is not suitable approach to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will discuss the factors that why encourage ordinary folks to imitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and provide my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are several reasons for the increased fashion among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
celebrities. One reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who call themselves fans of celebrities, such as actors or sports stars,
also
have the desire to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in the society.
For example
, a person who wears a shirt like his idol football player, Cristiano Ronaldo,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that he would gain more attention among his friends by wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who feel that if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their role models, they would
also
be able to achieve the luxurious lifestyle and huge success in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in terms of immense wealth, expensive cars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
such possessions.
Therefore
, ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
personalities want to be like them.

Though the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copying
others is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
, it is
really
not an admirable thing. It is due to the fact that one can actually gain more happiness with one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
style
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copying
someone by wearing similar clothes or possessing similar luxurious items which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring temporary happiness.
Nevertheless
, if ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things from others such as principles and values, they will create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
comfort and satisfaction.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
humanity should not copy well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
either reading magazines or watching, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copying
their lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
conceive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way.

In conclusion
, it is irrefutable that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attempt to imitate well-known personalities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social status and to appear stylish.
However
, this trend is not appreciable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their originality by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copying
others.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 2915 do you think that sometimes comedians are carried away and make jokes that are not funny? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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