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04 11 2017 Nowadays people usually retire at the age of 60 or 65 but some want to keep working as long as they can Is this a positive or a negative development Give you own opinion and relevant examples v.1

04 11 2017 Nowadays people usually retire at the age of 60 or 65 but some want to keep working as long as they can Is this a positive or a negative development Give you own opinion and relevant examples v. 1
THESE DAYS, MAJORITY OF ADULTS OPT TO RUN THEIR BUSINESSES INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS REASONS BEHIND THIS TREND AND THE DRAWBACKS OF BEING SELF-EMPLOYED. UNDOUBTEDLY, THERE ARE REASONS WHY MANY PEOPLE PREFER TO WORK FOR THEMSELVES RATHER THAN WORKING IN A PUBLIC OR PRIVATE SECTOR. FIRST, RUNNING PERSONAL BUSINESS IS HIGHLY FLEXIBLE. WHEN SOMEONE IS HIS OR HER BOSS, THE PERSON IS NOT BOUND BY ANY COMPANY'S RULES ESPECIALLY WITH REGARDS TO TIME, BREAK, AND WORK OUTFITS. THIS MEANS THE PERSON CAN CHOOSE WHEN TO GO TO WORK, WHEN TO LEAVE, WHEN TO GO ON VACATION, AND WHAT TO WEAR TO WORK. BEARING IN MIND THE SET GOALS OF THE BUSINESS, THE PERSON IS FREE TO CHOOSE A CONVENIENT ROUTINE TO SEE THAT THE GOALS BECOME ACCOMPLISHED EVENTUALLY. SECOND, HAVING SELF-EMPLOYMENT GENERATE MORE INCOME COMPARED TO SALARIED EMPLOYMENT. FOR EXAMPLE, STATISTICS FROM A RECENT POLL CONDUCTED BY WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM SHOW THAT 87% OF BILLIONNAIRES IN THE WORLD ARE SELF-MADE. THAT MEANS THAT INCOME REALIZED FROM WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT OR PRIVATE INSTITUTIONS CAN ONLY PROVIDE FOR ONE'S BASIC NEEDS AND DOES NOT GO BEYOND PLACING THAT PERSON IN AFFLUENCE. DESPITE HOW APPEALING OR JUICY SELF-EMPLOYMENT MAY APPEAR, IT IS NOT WITHOUT SOME DISADVANTAGES. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE IS NO JOB SECURITY IN BEING SELF-EMPLOYED. IF ANY LOSS, NO MATTER THE GRAVITY HITS THE BUSINESS, THE OWNER BEARS THE COST ALONE WITHOUT RECOURSE TO THE GOVERNMENT OR ANY SHAREHOLDER, THUS LEADING TO NEGATIVE OUTCOMES OR WORST STILL THE BUSINESS BEING FOLDED. FOR INSTANCE, A STUDY BY LEGON UNIVERSITY GHANA, FOUND THAT 65% OF PERSONAL BUSINESSES DO NOT LAST MORE THAN SIX MONTHS AFTER THEIR START-UP. THIS IS EVIDENT THAT HAVING A BUSINESS IDEA AND START-UP CAPITAL WITHOUT STRONG BUSINESS STRATEGIES AND KNOWLEDGE DO NOT RESULT IN SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS OUTCOME. FURTHERMORE, BEING IN SELF-EMPLOYMENT IS SADDLED WITH SOME SERIOUS HEALTH CHALLENGES SUCH AS MIGRAINES, DEPRESSION, INSOMNIA AND ANXIETY. THIS IS BECAUSE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF ALL DEPARTMENTS SUCH AS ACCOUNTING, PR, AND MARKETING LIE ON THE OWNER, AND THIS CAN LEAD TO MENTAL MENTAL EXHAUSTION ESPECIALLY WHEN THE BUSINESS IS NOT PROGRESSING AS PRESUMED. IN CONCLUSION, WHILE BEING SELF-EMPLOYED MAY SEEM TO BE THE ULTIMATE BECAUSE OF THE FLEXIBILITY AND ENORMOUS REVENUE ASSOCIATED WITH IT, THE DOWNSIDES OF MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND POTENTIAL FINANCIAL LOSS ARE WORTHY OF NOTE FOR ANYONE WHO WISHES TO TREAD THIS PATH.
THESE DAYS, MAJORITY OF ADULTS OPT TO RUN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESSES
INSTEAD
OF WORKING FOR OTHER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS REASONS BEHIND THIS TREND AND THE DRAWBACKS OF BEING SELF-EMPLOYED.

UNDOUBTEDLY
, THERE ARE REASONS WHY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
PREFER TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
FOR THEMSELVES
RATHER
THAN WORKING IN A PUBLIC OR PRIVATE SECTOR.
FIRST
, RUNNING PERSONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
IS
HIGHLY
FLEXIBLE. WHEN SOMEONE IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HIS OR HER
BOSS, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
IS NOT BOUND BY ANY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMPANY
'S
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RULES
ESPECIALLY
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
WITH REGARDS TO
TIME, BREAK, AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
OUTFITS. THIS MEANS THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
CAN CHOOSE WHEN TO GO TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
, WHEN TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LEAVE
, WHEN TO GO ON VACATION, AND WHAT TO WEAR TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
. BEARING IN MIND THE SET GOALS OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
IS FREE TO CHOOSE A CONVENIENT ROUTINE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEE
THAT THE GOALS BECOME ACCOMPLISHED
EVENTUALLY
. SECOND, HAVING SELF-EMPLOYMENT GENERATE MORE INCOME COMPARED TO SALARIED EMPLOYMENT.
FOR EXAMPLE
, STATISTICS FROM A RECENT POLL CONDUCTED BY WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
THAT 87% OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
BILLIONNAIRES
IN THE WORLD ARE SELF-MADE. THAT MEANS THAT INCOME REALIZED FROM WORKING FOR THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
OR PRIVATE INSTITUTIONS CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
PROVIDE FOR ONE'S BASIC NEEDS AND DOES NOT GO BEYOND PLACING THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PERSON
IN AFFLUENCE.

DESPITE HOW APPEALING OR JUICY SELF-EMPLOYMENT MAY APPEAR, IT IS NOT WITHOUT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DISADVANTAGES. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE IS NO JOB SECURITY IN BEING SELF-EMPLOYED. IF ANY LOSS, NO MATTER THE GRAVITY HITS THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
, THE OWNER BEARS THE COST ALONE WITHOUT RECOURSE TO THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
OR ANY SHAREHOLDER,
THUS
LEADING TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
OUTCOMES OR WORST
STILL
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
BEING FOLDED
.
FOR INSTANCE
, A STUDY BY
Possible spelling mistake found.
LEGON
UNIVERSITY GHANA, FOUND THAT 65% OF PERSONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESSES
DO NOT LAST MORE THAN SIX MONTHS AFTER THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
-UP. THIS IS EVIDENT THAT HAVING A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IDEA
AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
-UP CAPITAL WITHOUT STRONG
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
STRATEGIES AND KNOWLEDGE DO NOT RESULT IN SUCCESSFUL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
OUTCOME.

FURTHERMORE
, BEING IN SELF-EMPLOYMENT
IS SADDLED
WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
SERIOUS HEALTH CHALLENGES SUCH AS MIGRAINES, DEPRESSION, INSOMNIA AND ANXIETY. THIS IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THE RESPONSIBILITY OF ALL DEPARTMENTS SUCH AS ACCOUNTING, PR, AND MARKETING LIE ON THE OWNER, AND THIS CAN LEAD TO
Possible typo: you repeated a word
MENTAL MENTAL
EXHAUSTION
ESPECIALLY
WHEN THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESS
IS NOT PROGRESSING AS PRESUMED.

IN CONCLUSION
, WHILE BEING SELF-EMPLOYED MAY SEEM TO BE THE ULTIMATE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THE FLEXIBILITY AND ENORMOUS REVENUE ASSOCIATED WITH IT, THE DOWNSIDES OF MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND POTENTIAL FINANCIAL LOSS ARE WORTHY OF NOTE FOR ANYONE WHO WISHES TO TREAD THIS PATH.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay 04 11 2017 Nowadays people usually retire at the age of 60 or 65 but some want to keep working as long as they can Is this a positive or a negative development Give you own opinion and relevant examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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