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More money should be spending on citizen's welfare on or weapon. Give your opinion. Given reasons and examples for your answer. v.1

More money should be spending on citizen's welfare on or weapon. Give your opinion. Given reasons and examples for your answer. v. 1
Job satisfaction is one of the primary factors in the modern workplace. Monetary benefit is only one element of it. For many, this appears to be the most crucial entity in remaining satisfied at work; however, in my view, there are other factors like security, working conditions and motivation, alongside, that greatly contributes to it. To begin with, there is some truth in the fact that salary constraints bother many employees who view it as a key factor in maintaining satisfaction at work. For instance, a large number of individuals seek career opportunities abroad, because of the many lucrative jobs that offer a higher monetary profit than those in their homeland. In fact, this appears to provide them an elevated sense of happiness as compared to other things, like security of their jobs. Nevertheless, there are greater factors that contribute to employees' work satisfaction. Encouraging employees by providing perks and continuous motivation, good working environment and conditions, and safety in the office is among the many other deciding elements of employee retention in a company. These intrinsic factors are more important than the extrinsic ones such as salary. For instance, companies in developed nations like the U. S. , in addition to a balanced salary; provide higher security and a positive culture, leading to more profitable outcomes. It, therefore, implies the significance of other factors that propel workers to remain contented from their jobs and can help retain them in the long run. To conclude, although for some, money appears to be a driving force in the workplace; intrinsic factors like motivating and safe office environment are highly imperative for overall employee gratification.
Job satisfaction is one of the primary
factors
in the modern workplace. Monetary benefit is
only
one element of it. For
many
, this appears to be the most crucial entity in remaining satisfied at work;
however
, in my view, there are
other
factors
like security, working conditions and motivation, alongside, that
greatly
contributes to it.

To
begin
with, there is
some
truth in the fact that salary constraints bother
many
employees
who view it as a key
factor
in maintaining satisfaction at work.
For instance
,
a large number of
individuals seek career opportunities abroad,
because
of the
many
lucrative jobs that offer a higher monetary profit than those in their homeland. In fact, this appears to provide them an elevated sense of happiness as compared to
other
things, like security of their jobs.

Nevertheless
, there are greater
factors
that contribute to employees' work satisfaction. Encouraging
employees
by providing perks and continuous motivation,
good
working environment and conditions, and safety in the office is among the
many
other
deciding elements of
employee
retention in a
company
. These intrinsic
factors
are more
important
than the extrinsic ones such as salary.
For instance
,
companies
in developed nations like the U. S.
,
in addition
to a balanced salary; provide higher security and a
positive
culture, leading to more profitable outcomes. It,
therefore
, implies the significance of
other
factors
that propel workers to remain contented from their jobs and can
help
retain them in the long run.

To conclude
, although for
some
, money appears to be a driving force in the workplace; intrinsic
factors
like motivating and safe office environment are
highly
imperative for
overall
employee
gratification.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More money should be spending on citizen's welfare on or weapon. Give your opinion. Given reasons and examples for your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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