Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You recently stayed at your friend s place to look after the house while he she is away You accidentally damaged something in his her house Write a letter to your friend and say What was the accident When did it happen Suggest how the damage can be fixed v.2

You recently stayed at your friend s place to look after the house while he she is away You accidentally damaged something in his her house Write a letter to your friend and say What was the accident When did it happen Suggest how the damage can be fixed v. 2
Dear Amar, How are you? Hope you are doing well and enjoying your holidays. Many thanks for considering me and giving me an opportunity to take care of your house in your absence. As discussed previously I am looking for a bigger house for 2 weeks as my parents would be here to meet me and my wife. Definitely your house had really solved my purpose. Just for your information, yesterday while doing cleaning in your house I unfortunately damage one of the bedrooms window glass. This is the reason, I am writing to you now to inform about this incident. Moreover in this accident I hurt my right hand very badly. I know probably after reading this letter you would be worried about the safety of an apartment as I know last month only you had renovated your complete home. However, I would like to assure you that please do not take tension about this as I would arrange for fix and bear all the expenses. In fact I had already spoken to one of the workers in our area and he had agreed to change the complete glass of a window after New Year eve. Once again I am really sorry to bother you on your holidays. Regards Sunil
Dear Amar,

How are you? Hope you are doing well and enjoying your holidays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
thanks for considering me and giving me an opportunity to take care of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in your absence. As discussed previously I am looking for a bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for 2 weeks as my parents would be here to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
me and my wife. Definitely your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
had
really
solved my purpose.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
for your information, yesterday while
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going cleaning".
doing cleaning
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
I unfortunately damage one of the bedrooms window glass. This is the reason, I am writing to you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to inform about this incident.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in this accident I hurt my right hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
.

I know
probably
after reading this letter you would
be worried
about the safety of an apartment as I know last month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
you had renovated your complete home.
However
, I would like to assure you that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
do not take tension about this as I would arrange for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
and bear all the expenses.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "fact, I".
fact I
had already spoken to one of the workers in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
area and
he had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the complete glass of a window after New Year eve.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
again I am
really
sorry to bother you on your holidays.

Regards

Sunil
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic You recently stayed at your friend s place to look after the house while he she is away You accidentally damaged something in his her house Write a letter to your friend and say What was the accident When did it happen Suggest how the damage can be fixed v. 2

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
210 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts