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You cannot go to a company where you got an offer Write a letter to the HR supervisor to explain the reason why you decline the offer express you gratitude explain you like your current job very much v.2

You cannot go to a company where you got an offer Write a letter to the HR supervisor to explain the reason why you decline the offer express you gratitude explain you like your current job very much v. 2
Dear Sir, First of all thanks for offering me a position in your reputed organization. However, due to some personal reasons I will not be able to accept the offer made by your company to me. I can understand the amount of time and resources your company has wasted on my interview. This is the reason I am writing to you now for expressing my gratitude. Since last year I have attended couple of job interviews, but I never received such a better hospitality; especially that I received from your employees. I am really sorry for not joining your offer, probably, after reading this letter you will come to know the reason why I am not joining your organization. Before receiving a joining letter I was under impression that your company is taking the interview for a position in our city. However, it was my mistake I never asked your company during the job interview. The main reason for not joining the job is as I do not want to travel to other city leaving my family alone here. Actually, my mother in law treatment is going in our city hospital and as her condition is in the recovering stage, I do not want to disturb her treatment. Moreover, recently my company had given me a promotion that was pending from last year. So, after receiving my promotion my new salary structure is almost the same like you offer to me. Therefore, after discussed with my family I have decided to turn down the offer. I am really sorry for any inconvenience caused to your company Yours faithfully James
Dear Sir,

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
thanks for offering me a position in your reputed organization.
However
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I will not be able to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
made by your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to me. I can understand the amount of time and resources your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has wasted on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
. This is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
I am writing to you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
for expressing my gratitude.

Since last year I have attended
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I never received such a better hospitality;
especially
that I received from your employees. I am
really
sorry for not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
,
probably
, after reading this letter you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I am not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
your organization.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
receiving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
letter I was under impression that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
for a position in our city.
However
, it was my mistake I never asked your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
during the job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
the job is as I do not want to travel to other city leaving my family alone here. Actually, my
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
mother in law
treatment is going in our city hospital and as her condition is in the recovering stage, I do not want to disturb her treatment.
Moreover
, recently my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me a promotion that was pending from last year.
“So , after” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, after
receiving my promotion my new salary structure is almost the same
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
to me.

Therefore
, after discussed with my family I have decided to turn down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
. I am
really
sorry for any inconvenience caused to your
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
company


Yours
faithfully


James
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic You cannot go to a company where you got an offer Write a letter to the HR supervisor to explain the reason why you decline the offer express you gratitude explain you like your current job very much v. 2

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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