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The line chart gives information about the population rate in four different countries from 1970 to 2010 and it is estimated to 2030. v.2

The line chart gives information about the population rate in four different countries from 1970 to 2010 and it is estimated to 2030. v. 2
The line chart gives information about the population rate in four different countries from 1970 to 2010 and it is estimated to 2030. Overall, the proportion of population increases in each country between 1970 and 2030. It is noticeable that USA has the largest population during the entire period. In 1970, 70% of residents in US lived in cities, compared to 40% of Korea and 20% of China and India each. The percentage of population in USA and in Korea rose significantly over the next 40 years, reaching under 90% and 85% respectively. During the same period China population witnessed a climb sharp to over 60% in 2010, exceeding the figure for India, which had only over 30% at the same time. Looking into the future, the percentage of citizens in USA and in Korea is expected to rise gradually to 90% each from 2020 to 2030. By 2030, it is forecast that people who lived in China will rise to 65%, whereas the figure for India will be predicted to remain at 35% at the end.
The line chart gives information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rate in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries from 1970 to 2010 and it
is estimated
to 2030.

Overall
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
increases in each country between 1970 and 2030. It is noticeable that USA has the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
during the entire period.

In 1970, 70% of residents in US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in cities, compared to 40% of Korea and 20% of China and India each. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and in Korea rose
significantly
over the
next
40 years, reaching under 90% and 85%
respectively
. During the same period China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
witnessed a climb sharp to over 60% in 2010, exceeding the figure for India, which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
over 30% at the same time.

Looking into the future, the percentage of citizens
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and in Korea is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise
gradually
to 90% each from 2020 to 2030. By 2030, it is forecast that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in China will rise to 65%, whereas the figure for India will
be predicted
to remain at 35% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The line chart gives information about the population rate in four different countries from 1970 to 2010 and it is estimated to 2030. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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