Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v.2

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v. 2
Hello Suresh, How are you? How is your job going? I hope you are doing well in your career. I am writing this letter to seek your help to get information about computer science courses available at Newark institute of technology. As you already know, I am working as a senior software engineer since last 5 years and I also talked with you on my future study plan. I searched on the Internet for masters courses available at some of the reputed colleges in your city and found that Newark institute of technology has variety of courses available to choose. So as you are living there, I actually want your favor. I want you to contact Computer science department of the college in person and inquire about master course requirement for embedded system stream. I know that you are busy with your job but it would be great for me if you can help me out in this. Also give my regards to uncle and aunt and hope we will meet soon. Best wishes, Pratik Shah
Hello Suresh,

How are you? How is your job going? I hope you are doing well in your career. I am writing this letter to seek your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about computer science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
available at Newark institute of technology.

As you already know, I am working as a senior software engineer since last 5 years and I
also
talked with you on my future study plan. I searched on the Internet for masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
available at
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reputed colleges in your city and found that Newark institute of technology has variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
available to choose.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as you are living there, I actually want your favor. I want you to contact Computer science department of the college in person and inquire about master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
requirement for embedded system stream.

I know that you are busy with your job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be great for me if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me out in this.
Also
give my regards to uncle and aunt and hope we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Best wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Pratik
Shah
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v. 2

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v.2