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The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. v.2

The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the yearly average costs on cell phone and residential phone services among the United States customers from 2001 to 2010, in a duration of 10 years. Overall, as it can be seen the residential phone service increased during the time span. As is given in the graph, average annual expenditures on mobile and residential phone services instances by about 200 dollars and a little more than 700 dollars, respectively. In the first six years, cell phone service costs dramatically rose, although the other service expenditures for American customers gradually reduced in the same years. In the year 2006, both services cost became equal on almost $500. After that, the upward trend for mobile service costs and downward trend for residential phone service expenditures continued. In the last year of 10 decade, cell phone costs stood on approximately $750, whereas the costs for the residential phone service plunged to around 400 dollars.
The bar chart illustrates the yearly average
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costs
on cell
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phone
and
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residential
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phone
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services
among the United States customers from 2001 to 2010, in a duration of 10 years.
Overall
, as it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
increased during the time span.

As is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the graph, average annual expenditures on mobile and
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instances by about 200 dollars and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than 700 dollars,
respectively
. In the
first
six years, cell
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phone
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service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
dramatically
rose, although the other
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service
expenditures for American customers
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the same years. In the
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year
2006, both
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services
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cost
became equal on almost $500. After that, the upward trend for mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
and downward trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
expenditures continued. In the last
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year
of 10 decade, cell
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
stood on approximately $750, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
for the
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
plunged to around 400 dollars.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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