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You are studying a short course in another country Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider There is a major problem with the accommodation Write a letter to the course provider In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommod v.2

You are studying a short course in another country Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider There is a major problem with the accommodation Write a letter to the course provider In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommod v. 2
Dear Sir/madam, I have come a long way from India to Canada to study a short term professional course at your esteemed institute. It is a six months job oriented diploma provided by your college with in-house sharing room in halls of residence. I was very enthusiastic to live in shared accommodation with students from different parts of the world. But on checking-in i found pathetic conditions at your campus. The brief description is mentioned below. First and foremost, the state of the room is awful. There is no separate bathroom as well as no proper ventilation anywhere around. It feels like one will be chocked in few hours by staying there. To add on, there is also scarce water supply throughout peak hours. The most of amenities do not match with the facilities mentioned in the brochure. This has resulted in agony for many of many of my fellow students and me. I was not expecting such a low standard from one of the reputed institutions in Canada. So, it is my humble request to provide me an alternate and better room or upgraded the provided one. I hope concerned authorities will listen to my needs and will chalk out a plan of action at the earliest nor i have to adopt a legal course of action. Regards, Maninder
Dear Sir/madam,

I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a long way from India to Canada to study a short term professional course at your esteemed institute. It is a six months job oriented diploma provided by your college with in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
sharing room in halls of residence. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enthusiastic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in shared accommodation with students from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on checking-in
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
found


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
pathetic
conditions at your campus. The brief description
is mentioned
below.

First
and foremost, the state of the room is awful. There is no separate bathroom
as well
as no proper ventilation anywhere around. It feels like one will
be chocked
in few hours by staying there. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, there is
also
scarce water supply throughout peak hours. The
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the amenities") or simply say "most amenities".
most of amenities
do not match with the facilities mentioned in the brochure. This has resulted in agony for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my fellow students and me. I was not expecting such a low standard from one of the reputed institutions in Canada.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is my humble request to provide me an alternate and better room or upgraded the provided one. I hope concerned authorities will listen to my needs and will chalk out a plan of action at the earliest nor
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adopt a legal course of action.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Maninder
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS academic You are studying a short course in another country Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider There is a major problem with the accommodation Write a letter to the course provider In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommod v. 2

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
219 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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