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The charts show the number of Japanese tourists travelling out of the country and the percentage of Japanese traveller come to Australia in 10 years. v.1

The charts show the number of Japanese tourists travelling out of the country and the percentage of Japanese traveller come to Australia in 10 years. v. 1
Look at two tables, we can see that one illustrates the changes in number of Japanese tourist travelling out of their country, the other informs the proportion of Japanese travellers come to Australia in the period of ten years. Overall, it can be seen that the figure shape of both tables is virtually identical, compared the tops of the column table and the line in the later. While the number of tourists in Japan travel to others countries has a slightly decreased after 1990, the fallen happen two times by 1988 and 1993 in the chart showing percentages of Japanese visit Australia. Except in 1991, the figures which presented numbers travelling abroad in Japan have a steady rise by year. By the end of 1995, the indicator hits the peak at over 15 million tourist, which is three-times as the number in 1985 (5 million). The same with the line chart, the latest statistic showed that the proportion of Japanese that visiting Australia has risen by 3 times, touched the goal 6%.
Look at two tables, we can
see
that one illustrates the
changes
in
number
of Japanese tourist travelling out of their country, the other informs the proportion of Japanese
travellers
come
to Australia in the period of ten years.

Overall
, it can be
seen
that the figure shape of both tables is
virtually
identical, compared the tops of the column table and the line in the
later
. While the
number
of tourists in Japan travel to others countries has a
slightly
decreased after 1990, the fallen happen two times by 1988 and 1993 in the chart showing percentages of Japanese visit Australia.

Except in 1991, the figures which presented
numbers
travelling abroad in Japan have a steady rise by year. By the
end
of 1995, the indicator hits the peak at over 15 million tourist, which is three-times as the
number
in 1985 (5 million). The same with the line chart, the latest statistic
showed
that the proportion of Japanese that visiting Australia has risen by 3 times, touched the goal 6%.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts show the number of Japanese tourists travelling out of the country and the percentage of Japanese traveller come to Australia in 10 years. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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