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[Writing task 1] - The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. v.1

[Writing task 1] - The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. v. 1
The pie charts give information about water consumption for three sections (residential, industry and agriculture) and how these figures varied in San Diego, California and the world as a whole. It is noticeable that more water is consumed by homes usage than the industry in two states of America. By contrast, agriculture made up the vast majority of global water use. In San Diego and California, there is 60% and 39% of residential water consumption in total compared to 8% of worldwide usage. The opposite can be seen when we look at water consumption for agriculture. This accounts for a massive 69% of water used in global in comparison with only 17% and 28% respectively in San Diego and California. Such dramatic differences are not be seen for industry segment. The same proportion with 23% of water is used by industry in worldwide and San Diego, whereas the figure for California is recorded 10% higher, at 33%.
The pie charts give information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption for three sections (residential,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and agriculture) and how these figures varied in San Diego, California and the world as a whole.

It is noticeable that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is consumed
by homes usage than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in two states of America. By contrast, agriculture made up the vast majority of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

In San Diego and California, there is 60% and 39% of residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption in total compared to 8% of worldwide usage. The opposite can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when we look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption for agriculture. This accounts for a massive 69% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in global
in comparison
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
17% and 28%
respectively
in San Diego and California.

Such dramatic differences are not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
segment. The same proportion with 23% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in worldwide and San Diego, whereas the figure for California
is recorded
10% higher, at 33%.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic [Writing task 1] - The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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