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The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time excluding email Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.4

The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time excluding email
The given illustrations provide information about the amount of time that two age groups spend on different internet activities in their leisure time. As can be seen in the diagrams young people from 18 to 26 years spend most of their time social networking and accessing music or films, while seniors from 60 to 70 years prefer researching, for example on health data and making bookings for instance on cinema or travel. The supplied data clearly shows that a large number of young people select social networking and accessing music or films on internet with around a one quarter and 21 per cent respectively. Besides that, researching and playing games are also significantly popular among youngsters. It is interesting to note, that only 5 per cent spend time making bookings and 12 per cent making purchases. As is presented in the second chart, seniors who are aged from 60 to 70, most of their time spend on researching and making bookings with 26 and 29 per cent respectively. It is worth noticing, that playing games are not as popular as social networking, although there is only 2 per cent distinction among them. Furthermore, the percentage of making purchases is almost equal as accessing music or films. In general, younger adults would rather spend their free time social networking or accessing music or films, than making bookings, while elder person prefer researching and making bookings.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrations provide information about the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that two age groups
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
internet activities in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the diagrams young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 18 to 26 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or films, while seniors from 60 to 70 years prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researching
,
for example
on health data and making bookings
for instance
on cinema or travel.

The supplied data
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or films on internet with around a one quarter and 21 per cent
respectively
.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researching
and playing games are
also
significantly
popular among youngsters. It is interesting to note, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5 per cent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
making bookings and 12 per cent making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.

As
is presented
in the second chart, seniors who
are aged
from 60 to 70, most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researching
and making bookings with 26 and 29 per cent
respectively
. It is worth noticing, that playing games are not as popular as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking, although there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 per cent distinction among them.
Furthermore
, the percentage of making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
is almost equal as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or films.

In general
, younger adults would
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or films, than making bookings, while elder person prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researching
and making bookings.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time excluding email

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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