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The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, v.2

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.
The bar chart illustrates the average Australian water use in 6 selected cities for last year, while the pie chart describes the share of water each industry consumed in 2014. Overall, Perth had the highest average water use for last year with 300 kilolitres per property, followed by Adelaide and Brisbane with 240 and 250 kilolitres of property respectively. On the other hand, Melbourne and Canberra showed the lowest average water consumption of 150 and 140 kilolitres respectively. Taking a look at the distribution of water use by industries, we can clearly see that Agriculture took over two thirds of the entire consumption 67%, followed by households 9%. Water Supply, Sewage and Drainage industry consumed the same amount of water as the Electricity sector, 7%. In the same way there was no difference between the consumption of Manufacturing and Other industries, with both sectors using 4% of the national water supply. The smallest user was the Mining industry, accounting for just 2% of Australian water use. To conclude, the city of Perth and the Agriculture industry had a major impact on the usage of Australian water.
The bar chart illustrates the average Australian
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in 6 selected cities for last year, while the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the share of
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water
each
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industry
consumed in 2014.

Overall
, Perth had the highest average
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for last year with 300
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilolitres' is British English.
kilolitres
per property, followed by Adelaide and Brisbane with 240 and 250
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilolitres' is British English.
kilolitres
of property
respectively
.
On the other hand
, Melbourne and Canberra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the lowest average
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water
consumption of 150 and 140
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilolitres' is British English.
kilolitres
respectively
.

Taking a look at the distribution of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
by
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industries
, we can
clearly
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see
that Agriculture took over two thirds of the entire consumption 67%, followed by households 9%.
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Water
Supply, Sewage and Drainage
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industry
consumed the same amount of
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water
as the Electricity sector, 7%.
In the same way
there was no difference between the consumption of Manufacturing and Other
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industries
, with both sectors using 4% of the national
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water
supply. The smallest user was the Mining
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industry
, accounting for
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just
2% of Australian
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

To conclude
, the city of Perth and the Agriculture
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industry
had a major impact on the usage of Australian
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water
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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