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whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly a question of luck. v. 2
Some people believe that the speech is part of prey therefore most of people felling lucky when they are asked about their ambition that is reached. There are advantages and disadvantages with this statement, because of several reasons. Nowadays, the people especially teenager or the younger have a tendency to make sure about their ambition, while that they have a higher mission to get their purposes as well as this is a good matter which happen. For the people who consume believer about the destiny of luck tend to do a great thing. For example, one of a boy student who show in TV has a popular news about his journey, he is from a back water where less of development and attention from government in every field such as education, healthy and the other public service that is needed there. However, the struggling that is did by this brilliant boy can influence his area becoming more better than before, any several grows caused of it. he said that, some people from his rural always tell him about his purposes and about the education achievement that he reached. As result, this story present a message that the communities should be support the children who have an ability in every field. In conclusion, the people who got and success in a mission need some appreciates from the older or the society in environment to encourage them to do something well. On the other side, there are negative effects will be happen caused by this believer. The first, when the people feel that they are not have a capability and always get an impossible suggestion from communities would make them unconfident. Secondly, the children who do not have a good achievement then often to compare with the good other will influence their psychologies. Finally, the damages would be matter if the children pressured with several statements or something such question of luck. To sum up, I disagree about the destiny particularly about the lucky because the major reason people reach their aims are about their effort then experiences which they did.
Some
people
believe that the speech is part of prey
therefore
most of
people
felling lucky when they
are asked
about their ambition that
is reached
. There are advantages and disadvantages with this statement,
because
of several reasons.

Nowadays, the
people
especially
teenager
or the younger have a tendency to
make
sure about their ambition, while that they have a higher mission to
get
their purposes
as well
as this is a
good
matter which happen. For the
people
who
consume believer about the destiny of luck tend to do a great thing.
For example
, one of a boy student
who
show
in TV has
a popular news
about his journey, he is from a back water where less of development and attention from
government
in every field such as education, healthy and the other public service that
is needed
there.
However
, the struggling
that is
did
by
this brilliant boy can influence his area becoming
more better
than
before
, any several grows caused of it. he said that,
some
people
from his rural always
tell
him about his purposes and about the education achievement that he reached. As result, this story present a message that the communities should be support the children
who
have an ability in every field.
In conclusion
, the
people
who
got
and success in a mission need
some
appreciates from the older or the society in environment to encourage them to do something well.

On the other side, there are
negative
effects will be
happen
caused by this believer. The
first
, when the
people
feel that they are not
have
a capability and always
get
an impossible suggestion from communities would
make
them unconfident.
Secondly
, the children
who
do not have a
good
achievement then
often
to compare with the
good
other will influence their psychologies.
Finally
, the damages would be matter if the children pressured with several statements or something such question of luck.

To sum up, I disagree about the destiny
particularly
about the lucky
because
the major reason
people
reach their aims are about their effort then experiences which they did.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS academic whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly a question of luck. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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