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The bar chart below shows the distribution of different income groups of men aged 25-44 in Sydney according to whether they were born in Australia or overseas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons whe v.2

The bar chart below shows the distribution of different income groups of men aged 25-44 in Sydney according to whether they were born in Australia or overseas.
The bar chart compares the percentage of men who are native to Australia and from abroad, both the groups are youths and based on four different income categories in Sydney. Overall, The population who are borned in Australia have maximum ratio of middle level income but the least population has low income. Whereas, the people from other nations have minimum level for high income also most significant proportion of people are in lower middle income range. According to the chart, firstly, the minority of people who are originated in Australia have low income level, it is just under 15%. About 5% more people have high income, where more than half population are in the order of lower middle and mid range of income. People withstanding lower income group has 30% but the income group of $600 to $1000 has a majority with a ratio of a third. Secondly, Those who are non-native to Australia has a small ratio of people earning more than $1000, which was 5% less than Australian born. The middle income ranges population is just above a fifth. In addition, people earning less than $300 and between $300 and $600 are more than other group, lower middle group have approximately a third ratio, and it is highest among all.
The bar chart compares the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
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who
are native to Australia and from abroad, both the
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groups
are youths and based on four
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different
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income
categories in Sydney.

Overall
, The
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population
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who
are
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borned
in Australia have maximum
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ratio
of
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middle
level
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income
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but
the least
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population
has low
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income
. Whereas, the
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people
from other nations have minimum level for high
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income
also
most significant proportion of
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people
are in lower
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middle
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income
range.

According to the chart,
firstly
, the minority of
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people
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who
are originated
in Australia have low
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income
level, it is
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just
under 15%. About 5% more
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people
have high
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income
, where more than half
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population
are in the order of lower
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middle
and mid range of
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income
.
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People
withstanding lower
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income
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group
has 30%
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but
the
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income
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group
of $600 to $1000 has a majority with a
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ratio
of a third.

Secondly
, Those
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who
are non-native to Australia has a
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small
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ratio
of
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people
earning more than $1000,

which was 5% less than Australian born. The
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middle
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income
ranges
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population
is
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just
above a fifth.
In addition
,
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people
earning less than $300 and between $300 and $600 are more than other
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group
, lower
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middle
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group
have approximately a third
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ratio
, and it is highest among all.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the distribution of different income groups of men aged 25-44 in Sydney according to whether they were born in Australia or overseas.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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