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The chart below show information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. v.2

The chart below show information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. v. 2
The given bar graph illustrates average house prices in five cities of a country which are New York, Madrid, Tokyo, Frankfurt and London from 1990to 2002 and it' s also compare its percentage change from 1989 prices. Overall, London and Tokyo ended up with extreme negative changes over the years while new York and Madrid experienced a positive changes in average house prices but London has the highest one at the ended of the years even though, there were periods of fluctuations. Looking at the average house price in 1990 to 1995, change in percentage experienced in New York was at -5% while that of Madrid and Frankfurt have positive change of 2 and 3 percentage respectively. Both Tokyo and London have the extreme price of - 7. 5 each. Between 1996 and 2002, there is relatively new changes observed now. New York that had a negative house price of -5% in earlier years now has a positive 5% price changes that of Madrid increased slightly to 4. 5%. Tokyo still have a negative percentage in its price change, although, it was - 7. 5% before it' s now -5%. A little drop was seen in average house price for Frankfurt to 1% while that of London soared from negative price of-7. 5% to 12% at the end of 2002, and it' s the city that has the greatest price change among the five cities. It' s followed by new York and Madrid of 5% and 4% respectively. While Tokyo has the lowest negative price change of -5%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates
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average
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house
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prices
in five cities of a country which are
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New
York, Madrid, Tokyo, Frankfurt and London from 1990to 2002 and
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it&
#039; s
also
compare its
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percentage
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change
from 1989 prices.

Overall
, London and Tokyo ended up with extreme
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negative
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changes
over the years while
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new York
and Madrid experienced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
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changes
in
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average
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house
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prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
London has the highest one at
The phrase 'the ended of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the ended of
the years
even though
, there were periods of fluctuations.

Looking at the
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average
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house
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price
in 1990 to 1995,
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change
in
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percentage
experienced in
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New
York was at -5% while that of Madrid and Frankfurt have
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positive
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change
of 2 and 3
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percentage
respectively
. Both Tokyo and London have the extreme
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price
of
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
7. 5 each.

Between 1996 and 2002, there is
relatively
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new
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changes
observed
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now
.
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New
York that had a
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negative
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house
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price
of -5% in earlier years
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now
has a
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positive
5%
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price
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changes
that of Madrid increased
slightly
to 4. 5%. Tokyo
still
have a
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negative
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percentage
in its
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price
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change
, although, it was
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-
7. 5%
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before
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it&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-5%. A
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little
drop was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
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price
for Frankfurt to 1% while that of London soared from
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negative
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price
of-7. 5% to 12% at the
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end
of 2002, and
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it&
#039; s the city that has the greatest
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price
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change
among the five cities.
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It&
#039; s followed by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new York
and Madrid of 5% and 4%
respectively
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Tokyo has the lowest
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negative
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price
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of -5%.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below show information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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