Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

This pie charts illustrate the ratio of three different groups of citizens( 0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years) who lived In Yemen and Italy in 2000 and who will live in 2050. v.2

This pie charts illustrate the ratio of three different groups of citizens( 0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years) who lived In Yemen and Italy in 2000 and who will live in 2050. v. 2
This pie charts illustrate the ratio of three different groups of citizens( 0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years) who lived In Yemen and Italy in 2000 and who will live in 2050. Overall, there were considerably more children in Yemen than in Italy in 2000, on the contrary Italy outnumbered Yemen in the number of people who over sixty. Furthermore, the percentage of retired people will increase in Italy in 2050 year, while the number of children will decrease in Yemen. According to the carts, there will be significantly changes in number of Italian who older than sixty, 24% in 2000 and 42. 3% in 2050 retrospectively. At the same time the number of Yemen old people will rise slightly. The number of children who live in Yemen will decline by 2050 and changes from 50% to 37%, for the benefit for 15-59 years group, the number of people there will grow more than 10%. In Italy the number of children will decline by 3%.
This pie charts illustrate the ratio of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
groups of citizens
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
In Yemen and Italy in 2000 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in 2050.

Overall
, there were
considerably
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in Yemen than in Italy in 2000,
on the contrary
Italy outnumbered Yemen in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
over sixty.
Furthermore
, the percentage of retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will increase in Italy in 2050
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will decrease in Yemen.

According to the carts, there will be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Italian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
older than sixty, 24% in 2000 and 42. 3% in 2050
retrospectively
. At the same time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Yemen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will rise
slightly
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Yemen will decline by 2050 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from 50% to 37%, for the benefit for 15-59 years group, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there will grow more than 10%.

In Italy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will decline by 3%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic This pie charts illustrate the ratio of three different groups of citizens( 0-14 years, 15-59 years, 60+ years) who lived In Yemen and Italy in 2000 and who will live in 2050. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts