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This chart shows the top eight destination for newlywed British couples in 2010. The results come from a survey of 5000 couples. v.1

This chart shows the top eight destination for newlywed British couples in 2010. The results come from a survey of 5000 couples. v. 1
The given chart shows the information about the number of honeymooners who chose a destination among the top eight honeymoon venues in British in 2010. Overall, Thailand was the most popular destination for newlywed couples, while the bottom of the list was The lake district. Thailand was the number-one destination, with 1410 couples choosing this, making it slight more popular than Bali, at 1335 couples. The third popular venue was Costa Rica, with 750 couples spending their honeymoon there, which was around one third higher than the number of newlywed couples coming The Greek Islands, at 432. Paris was next at 209, while Spain was slightly less popular at 140 couples. And this was followed by The Lake district, at 124.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information about the number of honeymooners who chose a destination among the top eight honeymoon venues in British in 2010.

Overall
, Thailand was the most
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popular
destination for newlywed
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couples
, while the bottom of the list was The lake district.

Thailand was the number-one destination, with 1410
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couples
choosing this, making it slight more
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popular
than Bali, at 1335
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. The third
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popular
venue was Costa Rica, with 750
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
spending their honeymoon there, which was around one third higher than the number of newlywed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
coming The Greek Islands, at 432.

Paris was
next
at 209, while Spain was
slightly
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
at 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. And this
was followed
by The Lake district, at 124.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic This chart shows the top eight destination for newlywed British couples in 2010. The results come from a survey of 5000 couples. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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