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The diagrams below show the statges and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where releva v.2

The diagrams below show the statges and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
From the cement production process diagram, it can be seen that first the limestone and clay are passed through a crusher where they are converted into powder. The powder is mixed in the mixer. Powder from mixer then goes to the rotating heater, where it is rotated and heated with a heater. From the rotating heater the substance is poured into the grinder, where it becomes cement. After subtracting the cement from the grinder it is bagged. According to the concrete production diagram, the material that consists most of the components is gravel (50%), which are actually small stones. Other materials are mixed with the gravel in the concrete mixer. 25% of the materials is sand and other materials mixed are water and cement. Water consists 10% and cement consists 15% of the components of concrete. Comparing the two processes, it can be easily seen that the concrete production process is significantly simpler than cement production, although the fact that should be kept in mind is that cement is a necessary component in concrete production.
From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
process diagram, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
first
the limestone and clay
are passed
through a crusher where they
are converted
into powder. The powder
is mixed
in the mixer. Powder from mixer then goes to the rotating heater, where it
is rotated
and heated with a heater. From the rotating heater the substance
is poured
into the grinder, where it becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
subtracting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
from the grinder it
is bagged
.

According to the concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
diagram, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
that consists most of the components is gravel (50%), which are actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are mixed
with the gravel in the concrete mixer. 25% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
is sand and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
mixed are water and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. Water consists 10% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
consists 15% of the components of concrete.

Comparing the two processes, it can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
process is
significantly
simpler than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, although the fact that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in mind is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is a necessary component in concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagrams below show the statges and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
175 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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