Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. v. 2

The bar graph shows the results of a survey which was conducted by a company and gives data on the important factors that determine the work performance of employees. As is observed, chances for personal development, relaxed working environment, opportunities for promotion and salary are the main motivating factors for young people for their work performance while comparatively aged people's work performance is affected by the factors like money, competent boss and team spirit. The young employees put the 'chance for personal development' as the most important factor for work performance and more than 80% of them consider this as the most important factor for better performance at works. Relaxed working environment, promotion prospects and money are three other important factors for performance for this age group. The employees of the young group place the work environment, job security and respects from colleagues are the least preferred reasons for performance. On the contrary, employees between 45 and 60, consider money and team spirit as two most important issue for their performance. Job security, relaxed working environment and work environment affect this group the least. Interestingly, the issues which are preferred by the same percentage of both age groups of employees are team spirit (60%), competent boss (50%) and job satisfaction (50%).

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. v.2

The bar graph
shows
the results of a survey which
was conducted
by a
company
and gives data on the
important
factors
that determine the
work
performance
of
employees
. As
is observed
, chances for personal development, relaxed working
environment
, opportunities for promotion and salary are the main motivating
factors
for young
people
for their
work
performance
while
comparatively
aged
people
's
work
performance
is
affected
by the
factors
like money, competent boss and team spirit. The young
employees
put the 'chance for personal development' as the most
important
factor
for
work
performance
and more than 80% of them consider this as the most
important
factor
for better
performance
at works. Relaxed working
environment
, promotion prospects and money are three other
important
factors
for
performance
for this age
group
. The
employees
of the young
group
place the
work
environment
, job security and respects from colleagues are the least preferred reasons for performance.
On the contrary
,
employees
between 45 and 60, consider money and team spirit as two most
important
issue for their
performance
. Job security, relaxed working
environment
and
work
environment
affect this
group
the least.
Interestingly
, the issues which
are preferred
by the same percentage of both age
groups
of
employees
are team spirit (60%), competent boss (50%) and job satisfaction (50%).
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Academic
3 paragraphs
211 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
Similar academic posts: