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The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. v. 1

The supplied bar graph compares different factors which affect the work performance of two different age group. As is presented as a result of a survey in the given bar chart, for both age groups, 18-30 and 45-60, team spirit affects work performance equivalently and that is little over 60%. The reason ' chance for personal development' works for the younger age group about 90% which is more than twice than the older age group. The similar scenario is true for the relaxing environment too and this reason affects more than 80% of the 18-30 age group workers and about only 30% of the 45-60 years workers. About 45% younger workers' work performance is affected by the job security compared to little over 20% older workers. The only case where 45-60 years workers are influenced more than their younger counterpart is 'respect from colleagues' which is about 50% for this age group workers in contrast to 40% (approximately ) for the 15-30 years age group. The promotional prospect is an important reason that drives younger employees to work better and this reason affects 80% younger workers compared to almost 45% aged job holders.   For the lower age group job satisfaction, work environment & money affects their job performance about 50%, 30% & about 75% consecutively compared to about 45%, 30% and 70% of 45-60 years job holders. In short, workers' job performance is highly affected by chance for personal development, team spirit, promotion prospects, job satisfaction and salary.

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. v.1

The supplied bar graph compares
different
factors which
affect
the
work
performance
of two
different
age
group. As
is presented
as a result
of a survey in the
given
bar chart, for both
age
groups
, 18-30 and 45-60, team spirit
affects
work
performance
equivalently
and
that is
little
over 60%. The
reason
'
chance for personal development' works for the
younger
age
group
about 90% which is more than twice than the older
age
group
. The similar scenario is true for the relaxing environment too and this
reason
affects
more than 80% of the 18-30
age
group
workers
and about
only
30% of the 45-60 years
workers
. About 45%
younger
workers'
work
performance
is
affected
by the
job
security compared to
little
over 20% older
workers
. The
only
case where 45-60 years
workers
are influenced
more than their
younger
counterpart is 'respect from colleagues' which is about 50% for this
age
group
workers
in contrast
to 40% (approximately
)
for the 15-30 years
age
group
. The promotional prospect is an
important
reason
that drives
younger
employees to
work
better and this
reason
affects
80%
younger
workers
compared to almost 45% aged
job
holders.
 
For the lower
age
group
job
satisfaction,
work
environment & money
affects
their
job
performance
about 50%, 30% & about 75%
consecutively
compared to about 45%, 30% and 70% of 45-60 years
job
holders. In short, workers'
job
performance
is
highly
affected
by chance for personal development, team spirit, promotion prospects,
job
satisfaction and salary.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Academic
3 paragraphs
249 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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