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These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.3

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. v. 3
Nowadays, it is widely believed that the role of medicine and doctor is more important than a balanced lifestyle for the achievement of a healthy life. Even though a significant number of people follow a healthy lifestyle, I think that the majority of the population trust more the medicine and the doctors for the pursuit of a good life. On the one hand, in the last years, many new typologies of medicine growth in popularity, especially homeopathic ones. Suggesting the use of these new kinds of medicinals, many doctors thaught their patients that many important and severe diseases can be solved quickly, without possibly longer and expansive treatments. For instance, trusting his doctor, a friend of mine believed that he could have stopped suffering from asthma, thanks to homeopathic medicinal. Nothing, however, has changed since it started this therapy. On the second hand, surfing the internet, a high number of people find out the existence of vast amounts of medicine assuring to heal any kind of pain that a human can suffer from, such as cold, back pain, heart pain and so on. A significant percentage of them trusted these websites, with the hope that the given medicinal can rapidly solve their problems. though, many of them did not consider that their issues can not disappear using not-authorized medicinal and a serious doctor should have been addressed. Recently, my aunt suffered a lot from a long cold and decided to purchase a pills box for that kind of deases instead of going to the nearest hospital. To conclude, I firmly believe that the number of people choosing to rely on medicine and doctor far outnumbers the fraction that follows a healthy lifestyle.
Nowadays, it is
widely
believed that the role of
medicine
and
doctor
is more
important
than a balanced lifestyle for the achievement of a healthy life.
Even though
a significant number of
people
follow a healthy lifestyle, I
think
that the majority of the population trust more the
medicine
and the
doctors
for the pursuit of a
good
life.

On the one hand, in the last years,
many
new typologies of
medicine
growth in popularity,
especially
homeopathic ones. Suggesting the
use
of these new kinds of
medicinals
,
many
doctors
thaught
their patients that
many
important
and severe diseases can
be solved
quickly
, without
possibly
longer and expansive treatments.
For instance
, trusting his
doctor
, a friend of mine believed that he could have
stopped
suffering from asthma, thanks to homeopathic medicinal. Nothing,
however
, has
changed
since it
started
this therapy.

On the second hand, surfing the internet, a high number of
people
find out the existence of vast amounts of
medicine
assuring to heal any kind of pain that a human can suffer from, such as
cold
, back pain, heart pain and
so
on. A significant percentage of them trusted these websites, with the hope that the
given
medicinal can
rapidly
solve their problems.
though
,
many
of them did not consider that their issues can not disappear using not-authorized medicinal and a serious
doctor
should have
been addressed
. Recently, my aunt suffered a lot from a long
cold
and decided to
purchase
a pills box for that kind of
deases
instead
of going to the nearest hospital.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that the number of
people
choosing to rely on
medicine
and
doctor
far outnumbers the fraction that follows a healthy lifestyle.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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