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The bar charts compare the differences in the proportion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in 3 diets namely average diet, healthy diet and healthy diet for sport. v.2

The bar charts compare the differences in the proportion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in 3 diets namely average diet, healthy diet and healthy diet for sport. v. 2
The bar charts compare the differences in the proportion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in 3 diets namely average diet, healthy diet and healthy diet for sport. Overall, as can be seen from the charts that carbohydrates contribute the largest percentage in all types of diets, while fat just accounts for a small amount. Units are measured in percentage. Sportspeople require a meal with the highest proportion of carbohydrates, at 60%, compared to that of an average diet and a normal healthy diet, just 40% and 50% respectively. The second largest element is protein and an average diet consists of the largest amount of protein, which makes up to 40%. It was then followed by the percentage of 30% of the protein in a healthy diet and the figure for a healthy sports diet is 5% lower than the former. Fat, the last compound surveyed constitutes exactly only one-fifth in both normal and healthy diets; however, the figure drops to just 15% for the healthy sports diet.
The bar charts compare the differences in the proportion of carbohydrates, protein, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in 3 diets
namely
average diet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sport.

Overall
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the charts that carbohydrates contribute the largest percentage in all types of diets, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accounts for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount. Units
are measured
in percentage.

Sportspeople require a meal with the highest proportion of carbohydrates, at 60%, compared to that of an average diet and a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
40% and 50%
respectively
. The second largest element is protein and an average diet consists of the largest amount of protein, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up to 40%. It was then followed by the percentage of 30% of the protein in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and the figure for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
sports diet is 5% lower than the former.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fat
, the last compound surveyed constitutes exactly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one-fifth in both normal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diets;
however
, the figure drops to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
15% for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
sports diet.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The bar charts compare the differences in the proportion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in 3 diets namely average diet, healthy diet and healthy diet for sport. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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