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The table shows the maximum, minimum, and average monthly salaries in a European country in five employment sector in 2009, v.2

The table shows the maximum, minimum, and average monthly salaries in a European country in five employment sector in 2009, v. 2
The table compares the amount of salaries paid by five major career sector per month in a European country in 2009. It is clear from the given table that Finance sector was considerably higher than others in terms of maximum, minimum and average monthly salary. While construction minimum salary was by far smallest, maximum and average wages of Hotels sector were smallest compared to four other sectors in the year surveyed. Finance field paid 7450 Euro to staff monthly to the maximum, which was the highest number of five sectors, followed by trnasport, which paid 5480 Euro max. Hotels sector, in contrast, paid only less than a third of that salary of finance. The smallest amount of salary was also largest in finance field, where 1334 Euro were paid every month, whilst other sectors' wages ranged from 817 Euro of construction sector to over 960 Euro of manufacturing field. Average salary of finance was also by far highest in the same year surveyed, with 2560 Euro monthly, while the lowest amount of average salary fell to Hotels sector, with just over 1250 Euro.
The table compares the amount of
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salaries
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paid
by five major career
Possible agreement error. The noun 'sector' seems to be countable, so consider using: "sectors".
sector
per month in a European country in 2009.

It is
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clear
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table that Finance
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sector
was
considerably
higher than others in terms of maximum, minimum and average monthly
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salary
. While construction minimum
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salary
was by far smallest, maximum and average wages of Hotels
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sector
were smallest compared to four other
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sectors
in the year surveyed.

Finance field
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paid
7450 Euro to staff monthly to the maximum, which was the highest number of five
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sectors
, followed by
Possible spelling mistake found.
trnasport
, which
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paid
5480 Euro max. Hotels
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sector
,
in contrast
,
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paid
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only
less than a third of that
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salary
of finance.

The smallest amount of
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salary
was
also
largest in finance field, where 1334 Euro were
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paid
every month, whilst other
Possible spelling mistake found.
sectors&
#039; wages ranged from 817 Euro of construction
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sector
to over 960 Euro of manufacturing field.

Average
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salary
of finance was
also
by far highest in the same year surveyed, with 2560 Euro monthly, while the lowest amount of average
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salary
fell to Hotels
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sector
, with
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just
over 1250 Euro.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS academic The table shows the maximum, minimum, and average monthly salaries in a European country in five employment sector in 2009, v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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