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The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v.2

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2
The invention of cars has brought new trend of transporting to the human kind for century. However, the tremendous car use also accompanies several problems to the society. The more cars are used, the more problems arise. One of those is the environmental issue. It has been common knowledge that the exhaust fume produced by car is one contribution to the air pollution and green house gas emissions. Additionally, car overuses creates a huge amount of traffic jam in the rush hours in big cities like London or Shanghai. Another crucial issue brought by cars is safety. The number of people dead by car accidents recorded every year is approximately 1. 3 million people on world wild scale. This is alarming. As many would believe that if the use of cars reduces, the problems addressed by it will also decrease. However, it cannot be denied how useful car is to individual daily life and it is hard to imagine a life without it. Therefore, I think there are other solutions that can be applied. Car manufacturers can produce electricity car or cars that are friendly to the environment. Moreover, governments can build more undergrounds infrastructure like railways or roads to reduce the traffic jam. So, in conclusion, discouraging car use may solved the problem but it is not the best option for the society.
The invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has brought new trend of transporting to the human kind for century.
However
, the tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
also
accompanies several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to the society.

The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
arise. One of those is the environmental issue. It has been common knowledge that the exhaust fume produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is one contribution to the air pollution and green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gas emissions.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
overuses creates a huge amount of traffic jam in the rush hours in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities like London or Shanghai. Another crucial issue brought by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is safety. The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dead by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents recorded every year is approximately 1. 3 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on world wild scale. This is alarming.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would believe that if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
addressed by it will
also
decrease.
However
, it cannot
be denied
how useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is to individual daily life and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to imagine a life without it.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are other solutions that can
be applied
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
manufacturers can produce electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that are friendly to the environment.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can build more
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "undergrounds'" or "underground's"?
undergrounds
infrastructure like railways or roads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic jam.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
in conclusion
, discouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
may solved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the best option for the society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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