Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v.2

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2
The invention of cars has brought new trend of transporting to the human kind for century. However, the tremendous car use also accompanies several problems to the society. The more cars are used, the more problems arise. One of those is the environmental issue. It has been common knowledge that the exhaust fume produced by car is one contribution to the air pollution and green house gas emissions. Additionally, car overuses creates a huge amount of traffic jam in the rush hours in big cities like London or Shanghai. Another crucial issue brought by cars is safety. The number of people dead by car accidents recorded every year is approximately 1. 3 million people on world wild scale. This is alarming. As many would believe that if the use of cars reduces, the problems addressed by it will also decrease. However, it cannot be denied how useful car is to individual daily life and it is hard to imagine a life without it. Therefore, I think there are other solutions that can be applied. Car manufacturers can produce electricity car or cars that are friendly to the environment. Moreover, governments can build more undergrounds infrastructure like railways or roads to reduce the traffic jam. So, in conclusion, discouraging car use may solved the problem but it is not the best option for the society.
The invention of
cars
has brought new trend of transporting to the human kind for century.
However
, the tremendous
car
use
also
accompanies several
problems
to the society.

The more
cars
are
used
, the more
problems
arise. One of those is the environmental issue. It has been common knowledge that the exhaust fume produced by
car
is one contribution to the air pollution and green
house
gas emissions.
Additionally
,
car
overuses creates a huge amount of traffic jam in the rush hours in
big
cities like London or Shanghai. Another crucial issue brought by
cars
is safety. The number of
people
dead by
car
accidents recorded every year is approximately 1. 3 million
people
on world wild scale. This is alarming.

As
many
would believe that if the
use
of
cars
reduces
, the
problems
addressed by it will
also
decrease.
However
, it cannot
be denied
how useful
car
is to individual daily life and it is
hard
to imagine a life without it.
Therefore
, I
think
there are other solutions that can
be applied
.
Car
manufacturers can produce electricity
car
or
cars
that are friendly to the environment.
Moreover
,
governments
can build more
undergrounds
infrastructure like railways or roads to
reduce
the traffic jam.

So
,
in conclusion
, discouraging
car
use
may solved the
problem
but
it is not the best option for the society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS academic The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts