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The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. v.2

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. v. 2
The graph depicts the amount of money that people earned per week in three degrees, namely first degree, higher degree, and other qualifications. In general, although the amount of money which people received weekly varies according to the age groups, there are two trends visible. The first key feature shows that people who had the first degree of education earned the least amount of money throughout. To specify, increasing significantly from around $370 at ages 21-25 to nearly $200 at ages 36-45, the amount of money that people with first degree received per week fell slightly to around $690 at ages 56-60. Similarly, that of people who had a higher degree follows a similar trend and rose steadily from approximately $390 (ages 21-25) to around $750 (ages 41-45). After that, although there was a small fall, this number climbed to a peak of about $790 as the highest level at ages 56-60. On the other hand, in other qualifications, there was a fluctuation in the amount of money that people earned weekly. For example, beginning with about $420 at ages $21-25 as the highest level, the amount of money that people who had other qualifications increased significantly to a peak of over $800 at ages 36-40, followed by a consistent decrease to just below $700 at ages 56-60. Strikingly, only at 46-50 and 51-55 age groups, people with a higher degree and people who had other degrees received the same amount of money per week. To sum up, people of all type of qualifications earned more money when they were at old ages than at the beginning of the work ages.
The graph depicts the
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amount
of
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money
that
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people
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earned
per week in three
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degrees
,
namely
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first
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degree
, higher
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degree
, and
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other
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qualifications
.
In general
, although the
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amount
of
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money
which
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people
received weekly varies according to the
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age
groups, there are two trends visible.

The
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first
key feature
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shows
that
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people
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who
had the
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first
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degree
of education
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earned
the least
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amount
of
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money
throughout. To specify, increasing
significantly
from around $370 at
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ages
21-25 to
nearly
$200 at
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ages
36-45, the
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amount
of
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money
that
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people
with
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first
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degree
received per week fell
slightly
to around $690 at
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ages
56-60.
Similarly
, that of
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people
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who
had a higher
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degree
follows a similar trend and rose
steadily
from approximately $390
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(ages
21-25) to around $750
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(ages
41-45). After that, although there was a
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small
fall, this number climbed to a peak of about $790 as the highest level at
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ages
56-60.

On the
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other
hand, in
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other
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qualifications
, there was a fluctuation in the
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amount
of
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money
that
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people
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earned
weekly.
For example
, beginning with about $420 at
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ages
$21-25 as the highest level, the
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amount
of
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money
that
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people
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who
had
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other
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qualifications
increased
significantly
to a peak of over $800 at
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ages
36-40, followed by a consistent decrease to
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just
below $700 at
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ages
56-60.
Strikingly
,
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only
at 46-50 and 51-55
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age
groups,
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people
with a higher
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degree
and
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people
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who
had
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other
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degrees
received the same
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amount
of
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money
per week.

To sum up,
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people
of all type of
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qualifications
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earned
more
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money
when they were at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
than at the beginning of the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group Iin2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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