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The diagram below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for change to the school site in 2024. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant v.2

The diagram below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for change to the school site in 2024.
The figures show the school buildings and area in 2004 and the improvement plan of school in 2024. It is obvious from the diagrams that there will be extend the area of school and replace some buildings in 2024. In 2004, the area of school buildings and some facilities had been located on the north. Road, parking lot and main entrance were on the left side of school area. There were 2 school buildings which located on the north and the center of the map and there was a path between these school buildings which connected main entrance and sports field. The remaining area was for forestation. The maximum number of students in this period was 600 students. The plan of school site in 2024, the half of path will be cut out and there was a connection between 2 old school buildings. Road will be constructed below of school building 2 and connected between main entrance and new car park which is on the right side of new school building. For sports field, it will be moved to the south of new car park. New school building will be constructed instead of sports field so the maximum amount of students will increase to 1000 students. The other area will be still the same.
The figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in 2004 and the improvement plan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2024. It is obvious from the diagrams that there will be
Consider using the past participle "extended"?
extend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and replace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in 2024.

In 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities had
been located
on the north. Road, parking lot and main entrance were on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. There were 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which located on the north and the center of the map and there was a path between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which connected main entrance and sports field. The remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was for forestation. The maximum number of students in this period was 600 students.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
plan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
site in 2024, the half of path will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
out and there was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. Road will
be constructed
below of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
2 and connected between main entrance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car park which is on the right side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. For sports field, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the south of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car park.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will
be constructed
instead
of sports field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the maximum amount of students will increase to 1000 students. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will be
still
the same.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for change to the school site in 2024.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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