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The two pie charts given below describe some eployment patterns in Great Britain in 1992 and the data is calibrate in percentage In general it can be seen that the biggest proportion from male was managerial and profesional and the biggest percentage of F v.2

The two pie charts given below describe some eployment patterns in Great Britain in 1992 and the data is calibrate in percentage In general it can be seen that the biggest proportion from male was managerial and profesional and the biggest percentage of F v. 2
To begin from female in Great Britain in 1992 the highest percentage was clerical or related which had 31%. Followed by managerial and professional as the largest percentage was 29%, and 27% for other manual while the total amount of categories had 13% which were the smallest proportion of all employment patterns. However, looking at the second pie in more detail, managerial and professional was the biggest percentage of male in Great Britain in 1992. It got 36%. Followed by other manual as the second popular categories, it got 26%, and 24% for craft or similar, in stark contrast the total percentage of general and labourers, clerical and related and also other non-manual less than fifth.
To
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begin
from female in Great Britain in 1992 the highest
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percentage
was clerical or related which had 31%. Followed by managerial and professional as the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was 29%, and 27% for other manual while the total amount of categories had 13% which were the smallest proportion of all employment patterns.

However
, looking at the second pie in more detail, managerial and professional was the biggest
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percentage
of male in Great Britain in 1992. It
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got
36%. Followed by other manual as the second popular categories, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
26%, and 24% for craft or similar, in stark contrast the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of general and
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labourers
, clerical and related and
also
other non-manual less than fifth.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The two pie charts given below describe some eployment patterns in Great Britain in 1992 and the data is calibrate in percentage In general it can be seen that the biggest proportion from male was managerial and profesional and the biggest percentage of F v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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