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The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. v.2

The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. v. 2
The pie charts depict the global population shift between 1910 and 2010. At the onset, it is clear that the global inhabitants increased remarkably in just 100 years and the major proportion of it lived in Asia. As can be seen from the illustration, more than half of the world population lived in Asia in both years. From 1910 to 2010, the percentages of population in Europe, Russia and Asia dropped; European population from 25% to 14% and population in Asia from 60% to 54%. During this time, African's percentage of global population soared from just 4. 5% to 10% while in Latin America it jumped from 3% to 8%. The percentage of the population in North America, however, remained constant, staying at 5% both in 1910 and 2010. Then the Middle East and North Africa, representing a new region, accommodated 6% of world population in 2010. The global population percentages in the remaining areas of the world rose slightly from 2. 5% to 3%. The global population in a century jumped from 1. 7 billion to 6 billion.
The pie charts depict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
shift between 1910 and 2010. At the onset, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
inhabitants increased
remarkably
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
100 years and the major proportion of it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Asia.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the illustration, more than half of the world
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population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Asia in both years. From 1910 to 2010, the
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percentages
of
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population
in Europe, Russia and Asia dropped; European
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population
from 25% to 14% and
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population
in Asia from 60% to 54%. During this time, African's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
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global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
soared from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
4. 5% to 10% while in Latin America it jumped from 3% to 8%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
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population
in North America,
however
, remained constant, staying at 5% both in 1910 and 2010. Then the Middle East and North Africa, representing a new region, accommodated 6% of world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
in the remaining areas of the world rose
slightly
from 2. 5% to 3%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in a century jumped from 1. 7 billion to 6 billion.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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